The Supersymmetry Revelation
by Spacedup
Summary: When something unexpected happens between Sheldon and Penny, his lack of reaction has her deeply puzzled. Soon she discovers, how true love and true physics converge and her life is changed forever.
1. Chapter 1

Penny entered the apartment building and stood for a moment in contemplation of the task ahead. It had been a hard night at the Cheesecake factory. The boss had been on her back all night. "Those tables aren't going to clear themselves", "If the customer thinks he's funny, then he's funny", and "Don't pull that face." What face?

If he could only see her face now, she thought, smiling to herself. She took a deep breath and started up those three flights to freedom. Her legs felt like lead by the time she reached the final rise. And the last thing she wanted to see at the top, was Sheldon.

Oh god! that's all I need, she thought.

He spun immediately towards her and blurted out, "Leonard's at the Supersymmetry searches with Leptons Symposium!"

"Yes, I knew he was… doing that," she replied.

Leonard had told her he would be away that weekend, for some work related thingy-me. So why was Mr. Crazy telling her?

"Sheldon, I'm tired and I don't wanna chat. Goodnight." she said, reaching for the keys and making quickly for her apartment door.

"I, myself, have no interest in noncompulsory discourse." He replied sharply.

Penny turned, key in lock and said, as calmly as she could muster, "Then why are we still chatting?"

"I'm locked out."

"Oh!"

Oh crap, she thought. How does this guy do it? Eidetic memory and he locks himself out of his apartment. He obviously doesn't use his brain for any of the important stuff.

"I suppose you want to come in?" she said. Her unwelcoming expression went unnoticed, as he glided in the door behind her.

"And why are you so late? I expected you back a half hour ago," he snapped. Penny didn't reply, she just rolled her eyes and dropped her bag down on the floor.

"I'm making tea and then I'm going to bed," she said, as she clicked the kettle switch.

"Very well," he said, standing awkwardly where he had stopped.

"Sit down Sheldon," she ordered.

He swung his bag over his head and held it up protectively. Then, after a cursory glance around the room he lightly made his way to the usual chair. She thought, how much he reminded her of her aunt's cat. That damn thing could never decide where to sit either. It fussed around for ages before it found the optimum position. She imagined him in his own cat bed and chuckled to herself.

Pouring the tea and adding honey for Sheldon, she hadn't bothered to ask and he better not complain, she brought over the cups and sat down.

"So why didn't you go to the symposium with Leonard?" she asked.

He gave her one of those looks she hated. The pause. The smug half-smile that meant, "You're so stupid, aren't you?" and said, "The discussion centers around the experimental search undertaken for the weak production of charginos and neutralinos, in final states with missing transverse energy"

"Yeah, I know how it feels," she said, bored.

He pursed his lips into a line, wondering to himself if this was sarcasm and deciding not to ask. "Thank you, for the tea" he said instead.

"No problem sweetie," she said

"And thank you for letting me utilize your bed again."

"Oh Sheldon… can't you sleep on the couch this time?" she groaned.

"You know I require adequate support to prevent lumbar stenosis, which I frequently…"

"Well, why didn't you go round to Amy's, when you knew you were locked out?" she quickly replied.

Sheldon felt silent. Oh dear.

"You haven't had a fight have you?" and then she added, "What did you do?"

"Nothing. Amy is conducting an another experiment," he said glumly.

"Oh, I know she's finished with the monkeys now. What animal is it this time?"

"Me!"

Penny struggled to contain a laugh. "Sheldon, you said you would try. You said that one day you and Amy would get closer to physical contact. What happened?"

"I did try."

She didn't want to push, so said, "It will take time, but you'll get there."

Sheldon just looked back with big eyes and said nothing.

"Well…" she stood up and went for the cupboard with the spare blankets "You know where the bed is."

He was off like a flash, past her and into the bedroom. Calling back "I have no pajamas"

"Nothing I can do about that," she said.

Penny switched off the lights. By the time she had finished arranging the blankets and pillows on the couch Sheldon was already in her bed falling asleep. He wasn't stirring and she imagined him lying on his back like a corpse. She slipped off her shoes and stripped down to her vest and underwear. There was no way she was going in that room to get sleepwear and risk waking him up, she would make the best of it.

She must have drifted off almost straight away. She could hear music, carnival music. She was in a circus ring, dressed as the ringmaster. Amy and Sheldon were trapeze artists and they were training cats to walk a tightrope. For some reason, she had to catch the cats who fell off the tightrope in a basket. The basket looked like her serving trays at the Cheesecake factory. She ran back and forward, catching the falling cats. Who then bounded safely out of the basket and away. But the cats kept falling and she keep running. Back and forwards. Faster and faster. Stretching out her basket-tray each time until with one last stretch, she felt a shot of pain and awoke...

"Argh" she groaned "this damn couch." Unable to move for a few seconds, she lay frozen. The centre of her back felt like a knife had been stuck in. She managed to slowly maneuver her feet off the couch and sit up. The pain began to subside but her back felt stiff and sore. There's no way I can sleep on the couch, she thought. Sheldon is going to have to get out of that bed.

Reluctantly, she gathered a blanket around her and hobbled towards the bedroom. He was as expected, on his back fast asleep like Dracula.

"Sheldon, wake up" she yelled.

He shot up into a sitting position with a yelp.

"Penny…! You scared me," he said rubbing one eye.

"You're going to have to sleep on the couch," she said.

He looked at her with an irritated expression. "Don't you remember? We had this conversation..." he glanced at the clock "…less than two hours ago. How can you possibly have forgotten already?" He said. Then he settled himself back down and pulled the blankets up.

"I didn't forget" she said angrily " I have senosis!"

"You have what?"

"The back thing"

"You mean lumbar stenosis"

"Whatever, I have it and you can't sleep in the bed"

"But Penny, I have work in the morning"

"So do I!"

He frowned and said "But my work is infinitely more…"

"Budge up, I'm getting in" said Penny as she grabbed the blankets and prepared to climb into the bed.

"You are not!" Sheldon yelled, trying to push them back down.

"Sheldon, stop being a baby"

"I don't have pajamas!" he screamed and she froze on the spot. The blankets in her right hand and he left knee on the mattress "What are you wearing?" she said not daring to look down.

"My flash t-shirt and underwear" he said in a small voice "So you see you can't just… argh!"

Penny jumped in the bed "Good enough" she said.

Sheldon moved as far across as he could, his hands drawn up to his chest like a squirrel. "I won't be able to sleep with you in the bed, you know."

"Too bad" she said and closed her eyes.

Now she was dreaming on lying on a lounger, floating in a pool. She had her favorite sunglasses on and the sky was the light blue of spring. She could feel a soft breeze and went to turn over but something was on her feet. Cats, damn cats again. What? Her eyes slowly opened as she came out of the dream. She felt a weight on her left side pining her down and she realized it must have been Sheldon. He was draped over her, his arm across her body and pressed against her so she couldn't move.

This is weird, she thought. This is _really_ weird! Sheldon is sleep hugging me.

She laid there for a moment wondering if she could ease her arm out without waking him. His head was on her shoulder and she could feel his breathing, slow in the depths of sleep. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant experience. He was lean and comfortable against her. It felt intimate and… different.

A sudden pang of guilt swept over her and she slowly began to pull her right arm out from between them. He stirred, he pulled her close so she was crushed against him and then… he was aroused. She lay there in a state of complete shock, adrenaline pumping through her body. He stirred again and awoke. There was a second pause and he leapt out of the bed so quickly she barely felt him move "I'll sleep on the couch" he said, and he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

A sound woke her but this time, it was morning. Penny looked over at her clock. The alarm hadn't gone off yet, she could sleep some more but there were noises. Bang, bang, bang! Leonard. He was back and he was dragging his overnight case, up the stairs. Why did he always take that thing, he packed like a girl.

She then remembered Sheldon. On the couch and the night before. OMG! What would he do? Would he freak out? She had to tell him it was okay, it was no big deal. Jumping out of bed and grabbing her dressing gown she walked in to the front room. Sheldon was already dressed, his hair was disheveled and he looked as if he hadn't slept. He was standing with her front door open to greet Leonard, as he unlocked the door.

"You're home" he said and walked straight by Leonard, through their apartment and towards his room.

"Yes, nice to see you too, Sheldon" he said sarcastically.

Penny walked into the hall. "Welcome back."

"Sheldon didn't lock himself out again, did he?" said Leonard with a smile.

"Afraid so"

"Amy's coming over later tonight. It's Thai night and you're on the early shift right?..."

Brrrrrrrinnnnnnnggg!

"That's my alarm. I'd better get hopping" she smiled weakly.

"So, Thai?"

"Sure" she said, hoping to sound enthusiastic.

* * *

The early shift went fast. Lack of sleep and a feeling of bewilderment clouded her day. The customers endless demands, even her bosses annoying voice, seemed far away. "Much better effort today" he had said.

The previous night no longer felt real. It couldn't have been. Sheldon Cooper doesn't have a deal. He never did. It can't have happened, but she knew it had. Well, he's got a more than willing girlfriend, waiting for him to make his move. He must have some pretty messed up issues, she thought. The poor thing. As her shift came to an end she began to worry. I bet he's having a breakdown, she thought. She suddenly wished she had stayed on the couch. Then she thought about Amy. Oh god!

That evening at the apartment, Leonard was unpacking containers on to the coffee table when Penny arrived.

"Hey" Penny said, as she opened the door and sheepishly stepped inside.

"Hi, come on in," said Leonard "you're just in time."

"Thanks" she said and sat herself down in the armchair.

"Sheldon" he called out, "Before you ask, the chicken is diced, it's brown rice, we got the good hot mustard and the low sodium soy sauce."

"I checked it twice" said Amy beaming, from her seat next to Sheldon's spot.

Sheldon was at the desk on his laptop, typing away furiously. He said nothing.

Leonard sat next to Amy and said, "Okay, dig in everyone"

"Sheldon, we're eating now," said Leonard.

"Unlike yourself Leonard, my work takes priority" he said, turning to give him a disapproving glance. "Sustenance is a distraction which I can defer."

"Well your sustenance is getting cold" she Penny dryly.

He gave her his usual cool look, stood up and strolled over to the table. "I was finished anyway," he said and sat in his spot.

Penny felt a flood of relief. He was the same old annoying Sheldon. She watched as he picked up his food, pushed it around as usual, examined it, prodded a little more and then began to eat. He was okay. There was no change.

Why was there no change?

"Sheldon, I thought for date night this week we could continue my experiment," said Amy.

"Very well" said Sheldon without emotion.

As the week rolled on, Penny decided the whole thing was best forgotten. Whatever Sheldon's issues are, they weren't physical and they certainly weren't any of her business. She listened to Amy talk excitedly about how this date night she would be working on Sheldon becoming more comfortable with touch.

"How do I look?" said Amy, standing there is a new green cardigan and denim skirt.

"You look great Ames," said Penny.

"I knew it, this is what I'm wearing tonight," she said proudly "I'm road testing this ensemble, to see how she handles." Penny smiled.

"So what's your plan?"

"Well… Sheldon will be arriving at my place at 7.30pm and I will be ordering pizza," she said.

"Because it's pizza night," said Penny automatically.

"Of course." said Amy with a smile.

"Then once he's settled. I have a set of small cognitive behavioral steps, which I hope will induce a hug… or even kissing!" She shouted, rocking back and forward on her heels excitedly. "Well, probably not kissing on the first try but you never know."

"You sound optimistic."

"Yes, I am. Sheldon's been making much more effort lately." She said "and I think I have just the right approach. Failing that, there's always the electrodes"

Penny looked alarmed.

"Joke" she said "I think."

"Well… I believe you will get lucky this time, Ames." Penny said knowingly.

"You think?"

"Sure do! Call it Penny intuition."

Amy grinned.

"Good luck," she said as Amy left.

"Not going to need it," Amy called back "I have Penny intuition."

After Amy left, she undressed, turned on the water and jumped in the shower. As the water warmed her skin, she thought of Amy bouncing back to her place in her new outfit. She smiled. Then she thought of Sheldon's head resting on her shoulder. He had smelt so fresh. WTH?

It had been the first time she had thought back to that night. She stopped breathing. This annoying man was none of her concern, she told herself angrily. She'd always thought of Sheldon as a gentle weakling with a big fat mouth on him. He had become the annoying little brother she'd never had, always in her way. They had hugged a couple of times in the past. Something that was profoundly difficult for him and while she found it very sweet that he tried, his touch was tentative and insipid. This was her worldview of Sheldon.

Yet that sleepy embrace was neither tentative, nor insipid. He had held her so firmly she couldn't move freely without effort. And she had liked it. Not at all what I expected, she told herself. Amy may be luckier than I thought.

Choosing a pretty floral dress, she got ready and crossed the hall to 4A.

"Is Leonard there?" She asked.

Sheldon was sitting in his spot with his computer on his lap and headphones on. Tap, tap, tapping away.

"Yes, I'm here" Leonard called out, "almost ready. Take a seat and I'll be out in a moment." He disappeared back in his bedroom again.

"Sheldon, shouldn't you be getting ready for date night with Amy?" Penny asked inquisitively.

"I am ready" he said, "I'm just playing one final game before I leave."

Tap, tap, tap.

"Letting off a bit of steam?" she asked, regretting it instantly. He shot her a look and carried on.

Tap, tap, tap.

Leonard emerged from the bedroom pulling on his suit jacket. He walked to the fridge, opened it and started looking around inside.

"Do you want a drink before we go?"

"Not for me thanks," Penny said.

Tap, tap, tap.

Then Leonard began to talk about the restaurant he'd booked. It was a quiet little Italian in a basement, which he'd always been meaning to take her too. It had been owned by the same family going back generations. But his voice began to fade away and she found herself not listening because it was then she noticed. The tapping had stopped. Sheldon's eyes were not on his computer screen. They had moved sideways, towards her. He was looking at her cleavage. She couldn't move or speak. A second hung in the air.

"So what do you think?" Leonard asked, closing the fridge and striding over.

Penny snapped back to reality. "What?"

Tap, tap, tap.

"Sounds great, lets go," she said, standing up sharply and starting towards the door.

All evening Penny thought about Sheldon. What is going on with him? Had he finally reached puberty? Was she going to be living across the hall from a teenager in a man's body now?

Leonard chatted away and she responded here and there. The food was great and the wine amazing but she wasn't there in spirit. She was on autopilot. When they finished their main course she excused herself from the table and was pleased to find the bathroom empty. She gazed in the mirror.

"Never mind what's going on with Sheldon," she told herself. "What the hell's going on with you?"

Get a grip, she told herself. So Sheldon was showing signs of becoming a man. It's not as if Leonard's other friends had never looked down her top before. Howard and Raj both sprung to mind. Urgh! It was just weirder that it was Sheldon. It didn't seem right. It would never seem right, she thought.

I guess it was bound to happen one day, no point dwelling on it. As she sat back down at the table, she asked Leonard. "How does Sheldon seemed to you lately?"

"Arrogant, obsessive, self-centered… he's just fine," Leonard chuckled. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I just thought he didn't seem himself earlier." she said.

Leonard thinks. "He did let me borrow his Alien trilogy on blu-ray."

"Does that count?"

"He usually makes me sign something."

"Oh" she smiled

They made their way back to her apartment and as they got to her door, they heard footsteps coming quickly up the stairs. Sheldon was bounding up them at speed. He unlocked the apartment door in one quick movement and slammed the door behind him.

"Date night went well then!" said Leonard.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Penny received a distressing text message from Amy. "Why did you make me believe in Penny intuition? Date night was a catastrophic. Ax," it read.

Oh god! Well, at least it was Amy who _broke_ Sheldon and not her, she thought. There had been no repercussions from the night he had pressed himself amorously against her. She hadn't seen much of him this week but there were no reports of a Sheldon breakdown. No weaving, no death rays. She had started to find the whole thing amusing now. Even so, an uneasy feeling inside kept niggling away.

She replied to Amy. "Girly night?"

"Yes please, I need to vent." came the reply.

Bernadette and Penny were sitting in Penny's apartment when there was a knock. Penny got up to answer the door and Amy waltzed in.

"I need a large glass of a fast acting intoxicant," she announced, swinging her bag off and sitting down with a thud.

"Coming right up." said Penny, pouring some wine into the empty glass in front of Amy.

"Amy, how are you? I heard things didn't go well with Sheldon the other night." said Bernadette.

"It depends on how you define well." said Amy.

She took a large swig and continued. "We ate our pizza and discussed the common exposure therapy, with systematic desensitization. To which he agreed," she said.

Bernadette nodded.

Penny looked puzzled. "We held hands." Amy explained.

"Oh!" and then "Great!" said Penny with a smile.

"Well, that's good progress surely." said Bernadette.

"Yes, but then when we tried hugging, he started comparing himself to a fermion." Amy complained "…and saying I was a boson," she frowned. "He said he had to leave immediately, so he could tune the masses of our particles to their precise values."

"But that's crazy talk!" said Bernadette.

"You think? He just jumped up and fled out of the apartment like a rabbit from the anatomy lab." Amy said.

"He's a runner," said Penny to herself.

"Surely he knows he can't solve this with math." Bernadette said gently.

Amy shook her head, "We've held hands before but he's never used physics on me." She look depressed. "Penny, you have to do something," she said.

"Me?" said Penny "I don't know anything about physics."

"You know how to talk to Sheldon," said Bernadette.

Penny saw where this was going and didn't like it. "He doesn't listen to me, Ames. He agreed that I was nothing but a blonde monkey," she said in desperation.

"But you know about men," said Amy.

"Sheldon's not any kind of man I know about," said Penny.

"That is true, he's more like a child" said Bernadette grimacing, "which means I'm not much good to you. Sorry Amy."

"It has to be you Penny" Amy said, turning towards her. "Or maybe… you could ask Leonard to talk to him?"

"It certainly sounds worrying," said Bernadette.

"Okay, I'll try," said Penny.

"Great, kick his ass! Mamma wants some hugs sharpish," said Amy, with a big grin.

* * *

The following day was Saturday. Penny decided she would ask Leonard to talk to Sheldon that night. When he went downstairs to do his laundry at 8.15pm as usual, she would pop over to the apartment, explain the problem to Leonard and disappear before he came back.

Later that night, Penny sat on her couch listening. At 8.15pm sharp she heard the door open and soft footsteps pad down the stairs. He would be down there at least an hour. She snuck out her door. Leonard was in the front room. He was watching something that looked science fictiony on TV. "Hi Penny, I was just about to text you to come over. Gattaca has just started," he said, looking pleased.

"Sorry Leonard, I wasn't going to stay but I do need a favor" she said.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, it's for Amy really. As you know, her date night with Sheldon didn't go well and she was a bit worried about him. She said he was ranting all crazy about science. She wanted me, to ask if you could to have a word to him. Make sure he's alright."

"Sure, but he's just fine." said Leonard.

"He's not scribbling on whiteboards and acting nutso?" Penny asked.

"No more than usual." Leonard grinned.

Now she _was_ confused. They had both seen Sheldon flying through the door, like a frightened deer. Something was wrong. Sheldon is never just fine.

"But you saw what he was like that night." Penny said.

"He did seem extra agitated, but he's been okay since." Leonard said.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Howard and Raj. "You're not going to believe this?" said Howard, grinning widely and holding his arms outstretched.

"What?" said Leonard.

"The comic book store has only gone and got Jim Steranko in this evening."

"It's super Marvel-ous!" said Raj.

"OMG! That's amazing, I've always wanted to get a Hulk comics signed by that guy." said Leonard.

"It's happened now," said Howard "Where's Sheldon? He won't want to miss this."

"It's laundry night," said Leonard flatly.

"Right! Well, nothing comes between that man and his smalls. Let's go… before we miss it!"

"Great!" said Leonard. He picked up the remote and switched off the TV.

"What about the film?" said Penny.

"Oh I've seen it 4 times? Leonard said.

"… and that chat you were going to have with Sheldon? Amy's really worried," said Penny.

"Trust me, he's okay," said Leonard. "I'll see you later?" He gave her a quick kiss and the three guys disappeared down the stairs.

Penny stood there for a moment, taking in what had just happened. He'd hadn't listened to what she had said. She wasn't happy.

Then it dawned on her. Oh crap! She was going to have to talk to Sheldon after all. What would she say? Maybe she could sneak back to her apartment and come back when she was better prepared. She pulled their door shut and was about to go inside, when she heard her name.

"Hello Penny."

"Oh hello, Sheldon." Damn it! she thought. "You're back early."

"Yes, number one is out of order. Number two is occupied, three is making a terrible racket and after the stretched t-shirt incident of January 19, I didn't want to risk number four."

She smirked. "Hmm," she said in agreement. He did seem fine.

"Well, goodbye Penny." He said, letting himself in to the apartment with one hand and clutching him laundry basket with the other. "Leonard?" he called out.

"Oh, Leonard's gone to the comic book store," Penny said, suddenly remembering the message. "Howard and Raj stopped by and said something about a signing with a guy and Hulk comics."

Sheldon turned and said, "They went to the comic book store without me? Laundry night ruined and now this."

"He told me to let you know and to come after your laundry," she said in a positive tone, hoping this would cheer him up. He didn't reply.

Oh god! I suppose this was as good a time as any, Penny thought. She followed him back into the apartment.

"Sheldon, are you okay?"

"It's disappointing but it is laundry night, so not entirely unexpected."

"I didn't mean about laundry night." He looked puzzled.

"I was talking to Amy about your date night…" she started.

"Oh that," he said.

"She was concerned that you were confusing things." Penny said.

"I never confuse things," he said, setting down the laundry basket down.

"She's worried about you. She said you were using physics, to solve your relationship issues." Penny continued.

"Yes, that's right."

"Sheldon, you can't solve everything with physics. It doesn't work that way, not in real life. There are other ways to help you work on these problems," she said.

"Oh, but I did solve it," he said, walking to the kitchen.

Ugh!

"You were right, you know. I should have gone to the seminar on supersymmetry after all. I would have come to my conclusions a lot quicker," he said reaching for a container in the kitchen.

"I don't follow," said Penny. "What conclusions?"

"Every fermion has a cousin boson" he said, pointing as he did so, "The fermion-boson sum is identically zero. Each particle, cancels out exactly the effect of the cousin particle, predicted by supersymmetry."

"Sheldon, you're making my brain hurt."

He shook his head at her. "Penny do try to keep up."

"Just tell me what it means, Sheldon!" she said getting annoyed, "so I can let Amy know what the hell is going on with you. Besides you being, bat crap crazy!"

He frowned at her. "It's a matter of physics, Penny. Amy is a boson. I'm a fermion"

She looked exasperated.

"The sum is zero," he said.

_That_ she understood!

Feeling suddenly very depressed, she hunched back down in to the couch. "Oh Sheldon, you don't want me to tell Amy that do you?" she said.

"I don't want you to tell Amy anything. That was your idea." He said sharply.

"So all of her experiments were for nothing," she said in a defeated tone. "They didn't even work."

"Oh, they worked alright!" he said, grabbing the kettle.

"Huh?"

"As a result of her persistent attempts to awaken my darkest motives, I'm now stricken with an unrelenting fervor for carnal depravities," he said with a deeply depressed expression.

"You are?"

"Yes, several times a day."

Penny laughed, then quickly contained herself.

"Well that's _great_!" she said.

"Really?" he said, sarcastically.

"Sure it is. It's normal to have feelings, Sheldon. It just means you are ready now to move things forward."

"What a depressing thought." He snapped back.

"Sheldon, sit down."

He switched the kettle on and then went to sit down. She looked at him and said, "You're really come a long way, you know. After what happened the other night…" He looked away. "It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed. I understand."

"You do?" he said turning towards her.

"Yes, I was very worried about you after Sunday. I was sure you would be a complete mess and that I'd have to call your mother but you have handled it so well," she said. "too well in fact" she said, eying him with suspicion.

"Why on earth would you think that? he said.

"Well, these feelings are new to you."

"I assure you they are not!' said Sheldon, standing up quickly. The kettle clicked and he walked towards it. "We all suffer the assaults from our appetent senses, Penny, but I chose to contain such libidinous appetites." He stopped to think. "At least I did, until Amy and her cockamamie experiments. Now I'm no better than Leonard," he said, shaking his head in dismay.

"Oh sweetie, you don't have to contain them."

"I don't?"

"No, it's unhealthy to bottle things up."

"I suppose it might be considered unhealthy, now they are raging like a deranged bear on steroids," he said, almost to himself. "Still… I must endure."

"No, you don't. It's okay to let them out."

He glanced up. "Do you have a proposal?" he asked.

"I do."

"I'm listening." Sheldon poured water into the cup and went to sit down.

"Instead of fighting your feelings, allow yourself to experience them."

He sat quietly mulling over what she had just said. Finally he replied, "That's very gracious of you Penny"

"It is?"

"Yes, but I'm sure Leonard would never give his approval."

"What has Leonard got to do with it?"

"Surely you must have considered his rampant jealousy. As generous as your offer is…"

"MY OFFER?!" Penny was struck dumb with shock. "I meant you and AMY!"

"Why would I have coitus with Amy?" he said confused.

"Because of your carnal… whatever they are's!" she raged.

"I don't have carnal desires for Amy, her experiments produced a discrepant event. Were you not listening, Penny?" he asked.

She leapt from the couch, panting wildly.

"Tea?" he said, offering up his cup with wide eyes.

"No, I don't want tea!" she shouted, as she made for the door.

"Or… coitus!"


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Penny did was text Amy. "I spoke to Sheldon, no more experiments!" She left it at that for now. If he had something to say to Amy, he could tell her himself. She wasn't doing his dirty work. As for the rest of it, she was fuming. He always had a lot of cheek, but this new man-sized Sheldon was even worse. He thought she was offering him sex. What was she? A self-help sex aid?

Just then she heard voices. "Just look at all this stuff," it was Raj. "It's not my fault, he said he'd be there," said Howard.

Maybe Leonard was with them, Penny thought. That's what she needed. A night in with her boyfriend would make her forget all about Dr. Crazypants and his lurid suggestions. She opened the door, no Leonard.

"Hi Penny" said Howard. Raj nodded.

"What's a die-crep-ant event?" she asked.

"Urgh…?" said Howard surprised. "You mean in… science?" he added, turning to Raj who looked dumbfounded.

"Just tell me?" said Penny impatiently, "…and keep it simple" she added.

"A discrepant event is when an experiment which we expect to produce a certain set of results, produces something unexpected."

"Thanks" she said and went back into her apartment.

The guys stood there for a moment looking at her closed door. Then Raj said, "Is it just me, or is she getting smarter since she started dating Leonard?" Howard shrugged.

* * *

Penny managed to avoid Sheldon for a week. He could keep his discrepant event to himself, she thought. The trouble this could cause was unthinkable. Leonard wasn't the most secure boyfriend she'd ever had, and Sheldon was Amy's first boyfriend and her friend. If he had ideas about her, that was his problem. Holy crap! Sheldon has ideas about her!

Amy had been inquisitive when she asked her to stop the experiments, but she reluctantly agreed. "Do you think I should stop them permanently?" said asked.

"Just until Sheldon is behaving normally again, Ames"

"Well, that could take a while," she had said in a huff.

Leonard invited Penny to the apartment that night and she was out of excuses to avoid going over there. Resigning herself to the fact she would have to be in the same room with Sheldon, she tried to put him out of her mind. It was impossible, the thoughts kept tumbled back in. All week she had been obsessing about it. Physics isn't the same thing as human desire. He's totally mad! Why is he focusing this on me? It had to be a phase; if Amy stops the experiments he will snap out of it and no one will be any the wiser. Yes, she thought. That's it.

She put on pants and a nice shirt, doing up an extra top button to be sure. No peeking this time Cooper!

Leonard, Howard, Raj and Sheldon were already sitting down to pizza. Sheldon was in his spot, with Raj and Howard sitting next to him. Leonard had the armchair.

"Hi guys." said Penny. A chorus of hellos returned.

"No Amy tonight?" she asked, sitting down on the floor by the coffee table.

"No… she's just commenced a new project mapping neural network systems," said Sheldon, who was holding up his plate and staring intently at a slice of pizza. He gave it a sniff and turned the plate.

"Help yourself, there's beer as well" said Leonard.

Raj raised a bottle in her direction and took a swig.

"Thanks," said Penny and grabbed the closest slice.

"How was your day?" Leonard asked.

"The usual" she said, "Oh… except Kripke was in today. He said he might go to the Cheesecake Factory more regularly."

"Oh no!" said Sheldon.

"We go into battle lads, the death defying evil eyes over the dinner table," said Howard. Raj and Leonard chuckled.

"You jest but he's everywhere I go these days," Sheldon complained.

"It's new comic book day tomorrow," said Raj.

"And he'll be there!" Sheldon groaned.

"Not another night wasting my money in that joint." Howard said solemnly.

"I thought you guys loved the Comic book store?" said Penny.

"We do, but after Saturday, I'm not so keen," said Howard

"What happened on Saturday?" said Penny.

"That comic artist we went to see, was a no show," said Leonard.

"You mean the Hulk guy? That's terrible," said Penny.

"We're not sure he was booked in the first place" said Howard "We turned up and low and behold Stuart's_, Tremendous half-price Merch Sale_," he bellowed.

Leonard smiled.

"Yes, we fell for it like Carrie fell for Mr. Big," said Raj wistfully.

"I spend 200 bucks," said Howard.

"That's pretty sneaky of Stuart, do you think he did it on purpose?" Penny asked.

"We don't know if it was all Stuart. They got the heads-up from Captain Sweatpants. Not the most reliable source in the world," said Leonard.

"Yeah, maybe Stuart was in on it, maybe he wasn't. We'll never know, it's like 'Inception' all over again." said Raj smiling. The guys gave him puzzled looks.

"Still aren't you mad at him?" said Penny.

"No, not really. We had a great time," said Raj beaming.

"Well… in this day and age, who can we expect to honor their promises," said Sheldon. "Shop owners, Comic Book artists… _people_" he flashed Penny a confrontational look.

What?! Her eyes narrowed.

"Maybe Stuart never made any such _promises_," said Penny coolly.

"Promises or suggestions, it's all a matter of perspective." he said.

"Maybe Stuart never made any suggestions either!" she said in a warning tone.

"When something is implied, its meaning is derived from the words or actions of the individuals involved. Don't you think Howard?"

Howard stopped for a minute and said "Huh?... I-I guess."

"Maybe Stuart wasn't trying to imply anything, maybe Captain Sweatpants _got his facts wrong_," she said tensely.

"Assuming Captain Sweatpants did get his facts wrong" he said, "Which he didn't." Penny rolled her eyes "Stuart went along with the implication which makes him guilty of deceit," said Sheldon.

Penny was getting mad now!

"Stuart isn't guilty of deceit! Captain Sweatpants dreamed up the whole lousy scheme," she yelled. "ON HIS OWN!"

"Is that so? Why did Stuart only distance himself when Captain Sweatpants questioned the plan? That is a cowardly act."

"No it's wasn't, Captain Sweatpants is CRAZY!" Penny screamed.

Sheldon and Penny feel silent, staring daggers at each other. The guys shifted uncomfortably.

"Geez guys, I wasn't that upset about it…." said Howard quietly.

Penny went straight back to her apartment. She was full of rage and wanted to scream.

"I could kill him", she said. Leonard followed her in the open door.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"He's driving me _insane_!"

"Yeah, he drives us all insane. Don't let it get to you"

"I'm sorry," said Penny. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I should just ignore him."

They heard the TV go on in the other apartment and Howard and Raj start nattering about a show.

"Do you want to go back in?" said Leonard. "Sheldon's just being a jerk. Forget it."

"No, I'm tired," she lied. She felt fired up.

"I can make you some tea," he said.

"Penny doesn't want tea," a soft voice came through the open door. Sheldon was standing outside looking in at her, their eyes met.

"Sheldon, don't make things worse," said Leonard and closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Penny lay awake in the early hours. She tried to sleep but kept going back to the argument with Sheldon. Her anger had ebbed away and left behind something worse; regret. Why hadn't she just let it go? she thought. Let him have a small moment of triumph. Wasn't rejecting him enough? All she wanted to do now, was say she was sorry.

Leonard stirred next to her, he reached for his watch on the bedside table and said "Morning."

"Morning," she replied.

Jumping out of bed he started towards the bathroom, then stopped and said "Oh, I have an appointment with my hygienist this morning, which means I won't be able to drive Sheldon to work. He'll probably ask you." He looked concerned.

Penny didn't say anything.

"Just make him take the bus," he said.

"It's okay, I'll do it,"

"Are you sure? Last night got … intense, the guys were ready to duck and cover," he said jokingly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, it's makes a change from one of us," he said. "Everything is alright though, right?" he added.

"It will be," she said resolutely. "Tell him I'll drop him off on my way to work."

After Leonard left, she thought about what she would say. She would set the record straight as gently as she could and appeal to his sense of logic. He wasn't going to get her angry. She wondered who she would be greeted by though, angry Sheldon or sulky Sheldon. This time she was ready for him.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

"Hello Sheldon."

"Hello Penny."

They made their way down the stairs in silence, once they were seated in the car, she turned and said,

"Sheldon, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the fight last night. It got out of hand. Can we just forget it?"

"Okay," he said.

"Is that it? Aren't you going to say sorry, too?"

"Should I?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, then I'm sorry too," he said.

She started the car and pulled out, he was looking at the check engine light but didn't say anything. They drove in silence for a while and then she glanced over at him. He didn't look angry, or sulky. He looked just fine, happy even. Why is he not crazed? The things she had planned to say slipped from her mind.

"Do you want to play hookey?" she asked. It was an impulse that came from nowhere.

He studied her as if he was not entirely sure what she was asking. He hesitated and replied, "Is that a euphemism?"

"A what? No. It means to stay away from work… _without permission_" she joked.

"You mean to abscond?" he said.

"Yeah. Just blow it off."

"What does playing hookey entail?"

"Ice cream, wine, hanging out, watching films."

"Then no." he said.

"Oh come on, even Amy and Bernadette were game. We went to Disneyland," she said trying to make it sound appealing.

"You encouraged Amy to _play hookey_?" he said.

"Yeah, she's really good at it."

He shook his head.

"Suit yourself," she said.

Penny dropped him off and headed for the nearest store. She would play hookey on her own, she thought. Once she got in, she called in sick, changed into comfy sweatpants, opened a big tub of vanilla ice cream and flicked on the TV. This was the life.

Flick, flick, flick. Not much on. She tried a DVD instead, 'The Lake House'. She had forced Sheldon to watch it with her once. He didn't like it. She smiled and put it on. An hour later, she was bored. Something with Jennifer Anniston, she thought. On went film number two, but not long after that…

Bored…

She wasn't having the marvelous time she had hoped. Why?

Then it dawned on her. Sheldon wasn't there. Why had she not seen it? She asked him to cut work with her, for pity's sake! Never once thinking about her motives in doing so. Her eyes widened. Was she tempted? Did she want him?

Oh god, she sobbed. I want to have coitus with Sheldon Cooper!

She reached for the wine.

* * *

Several hours later Leonard and Sheldon were coming up the stairs after work.

"Tires must be only be inflated to 32 to 35 psi, Leonard. Excessive tire pressure can greatly reduce fuel economy and lead to premature failure."

"The tires are fine Sheldon!"

"Your assurance will be little comfort, when a blowout sends us into an uncontrollable death spiral."

"Oh Sheldon, will you give it a rest," Leonard moaned opening the door. "What time are the guys getting here?"

"One of the guys is already here," said Howard walking in the door with a big grin. "Raj is on his way, he's picking up nibbles."

"I have the new BioShock Infinite," said Leonard holding up the box.

"It's vintage games night, Leonard, no releases after 1995," Sheldon said pointing at both of them. They rolled their eyes and started unpacking the retro consoles.

Bernadette and Amy climbed the stairs to Penny's apartment.

"Do you think she is even in?" said Bernadette.

"I have no idea, I've been texting her all day and zip." said Amy. She knocked on the door.

Penny shot awake with a start. She had completely forgotten about girls night. The wine had gone down too fast and she just thought she'd close her eyes for a second and must had passed out. She staggered to a standing position and went for the door.

"If that's a new fashion craze, I don't like it." Amy said, taking in Penny's crumpled appearance and ice cream stained sweat top.

"Hey girls, come on in" Penny said.

"Are you okay?" asked Bernadette.

"Sure, never better," she said holding her hand to her head. "Take a seat ladies."

The girls walked in and looked around. They would take a seat if they could find one. The place was a mess. They tentatively cleared themselves a space, and sat down. Penny wobbled to the kitchen, steadying herself on the counter. Whoa!

"I'll get you wine" she said "…and water for me."

"Your apartment resembles a hyena den," said Amy.

"Yeah, sorry," she said passing them glasses.

"Are you sure it's okay for us to stay? Maybe you should be in bed,"

"Nooooo, it's fine" she lied. Bernadette continued to look worried but decided to change the subject completely.

"So Amy, are you ready to resume your experiments on Sheldon," she asked.

"No" said Amy gloomily. "At this rate, I might just slip some Viagra in to his cocoa."

"Don't do that!" Penny said rather too quickly. The girls looked at her. "You know… drugs ..." she trailed off. "I've got to hurl," and she ran to the bathroom.

The guys were still setting up when Bernadette and Amy walked in.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Howard asked.

"Girls night's a bust," said Amy

"Penny's drunk," said Bernadette.

"She's what? said Leonard.

"She's had a skinful," Amy said.

"We thought we'd better let you know," said Bernadette

"She wasn't at the Cheesecake Factory this morning. I popped in to try Sheldon's famous barbecue bacon cheeseburger," said Amy.

"Good choice," Sheldon said. Amy grinned.

"She wasn't at work?" said Leonard, looking at Sheldon angrily.

"She played hookey."

"What?! Why did she do that?" Leonard asked, agitated.

Sheldon thought for a moment. "She wanted ice cream," he said.

"She's drinking, she's skipping work… and she had a massive row with Sheldon the other night. Hell, knows what that was about." Leonard said.

Sheldon dropped his eyes.

"Her place looks like it's been hit by a blizzard," said Bernadette.

"That's it, I'm going over," he put down his controller and matched across to Penny's apartment.

He found her in the bathroom, slumped over the toilet.

"Penny."

"Leonard" she said groggily.

"You are drunk, what the hell is going on? Sheldon told me you didn't go into work."

"Sheldon, that ratfink," she said.

"It's not his fault," said Leonard.

"Oh but it is," she said.

"Penny, you're acting crazy."

"I am crazy," she laughed.

"I can't talk to you while you're drunk. I'm putting you to bed," he said helping her up. He pulled her upright and helped her to the bed. Placing a glass of water by the side, he left her to sleep it off.

Early the next morning, Sheldon took Penny's spare key and made his way to her apartment. He lightly crept across the hall, opened her door and closed it behind him. Taking in the devastation in front of him for a moment, he began to tidy.

Sometime later, she woke to see a figure moving about her room, in rubber gloves. "Sheldon?"

She watched him for a few seconds and then said, "Tell me something?"

"All the time we have known each other, it's always been you who was crazed over every little thing, every routine change, every raised voice but... this… I don't understand. How are you fine with all these things you have been saying to me?"

He gazed down at her and said nothing.

"Why am I the crazy one?!" she said, bringing her hands up to her face in despair.

"Penny", he said quietly. "I've known for 6 years that I was attracted to you. You've only known two weeks."

"…but you never."

"No, I chose science."

His eyes were warm as he looked at her, "Hug me," she said, holding her arms outstretched.

"You need a shower,"

He was right, her hair was sticky with ice cream. She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, looking back as she closed the door.

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome."

When she got out he was gone. A pile of bedding in her laundry basket told her, he had changed her sheets.

Sheldon had got back to the apartment to find it empty. Someone had left two cups on the coffee table. Darn it! He couldn't leave them. As he picked them up, he heard the door open. He turned to see Penny walk in, her hair still slightly damp. She walked right up to him, closer, then closer until they were almost touching. He didn't move.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes, Penny."

"Why is supersymmetry so important?" she asked, so close she could feel his heart start to pound.

"Physicists considered that there was an undiscovered physical principle," he said softly.

She kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

The coffee cups slid from his fingers, falling to the floor with a clunk. Penny glided her hand into his hair and kissed him more deeply. She felt him respond. His lips parted, as he returned her kiss running his hands over her back. When she finally pulled away, his eyes were shining.

"Why are you kissing me?" he asked.

"This is _my_ experiment," she said.

Her senses spiked, as she felt his lips brush hers again. They fell down into his usual spot on the couch. He felt so right in her arms, as if he were made for her. She slipped her hand under his t-shirts and slowly up his bare back. He gasped, and let out a boyish giggle.

"Oh Penny," he said. "I want to rush upon you, like the victorious allies of Gondor and Rohirrim against the hoards of Mordor."

"I don't know what that means," she laughed.

"You will," he whispered, pushing her down on the couch and kissing her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around him and let herself sink into his kiss. Why did it sound so inviting, when Sheldon spoke like this? It annoyed the heck out of her when Leona….! Oh god!

She pulled free and quickly sat up.

Penny had done some misguided things in her time, but cheating wasn't one of them.

"Are we stopping now?" he asked, confused.

She looked over at him, "Leonard." she said meekly.

"Oh kryptonite."

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"Well, when you tested your hypothesis, what was the probable outcome?"

"Huh?"

"Before embarking on an experiment you need to account for all possible variables."

"Variables?"

"Leonard and Amy, of course," he said.

She gave him an addled look.

"Oh Penny, I assumed when you wantonly pressed your lips on mine, that I was in the hands of an expert, who had an authoritative doctrine."

"Authoritative what?"

"A strategy… a series of actions or procedures… an established way of progressing."

"I just went with the moment," she replied, feebly.

"Went with the…." he huffed, "These actions are potentially devastating to our current arrangements," he said, "we could lose people," he added, with a concerned tone.

"Alright smartypants, you're the one with the massive brain. You think of a plan."

They sat side by side, in silence, Sheldon thinking. He gave her a quick glance, "Maybe you should corrupt me first, and we can devise a viable solution later," he said earnestly.

She looked at him for a minute, then smirked. Reaching over, she pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder. "You did become a real boy, didn't you?" she said tenderly, as she stroked his hair.

They didn't say anything for a while and then he said softly, "Are you going to break up with Leonard?"

"Are you going to break up with Amy?"

"I said it first," he shot back.

"I don't know...," she said. "I do love him. I just don't know if I want to be with him in 20 years time. I never feel ready."

"Shouldn't you feel ready by now?"

"What about you and Amy?"

"I am very fond of Amy, she helps me," he said. "I can't imagine not knowing her."

Penny felt saddened. "Let's face it sweetie, this is an impossible situation."

"Not necessarily impossible," he said sitting back upright. "We haven't done the calculations."

"Well… you let me know," she said, kissing him lightly on the forehead. She stood up to leave, knowing that staying was a bad idea.

"Maybe one day," she said, as she stepped through the door.

She made her way back to her apartment. Squeezing a cushion up to her chest, she sat down with her knees pulled up. There were no calculations for this. If they took things any further, the outcome would be far worse for Sheldon than her. She'd get over it, but he would lose his best friend and Amy. He wasn't equipped for that. What a mess, her heart sunk.

* * *

Not long after she departed, Sheldon left his apartment. He quickly made his way to Raj's place.

Knock, knock, knock "Raj."

Knock, knock, knock "Raj."

Knock, knock, knock "Raj."

"Sheldon!... I was expecting you."

"You were?"

"Yes, ever since I heard the news from CERN that the super collider had failed to find evidence of supersymmetry, I knew it was only a matter of time before I'd see your sorry ass skulking round here," said Raj.

"Firstly, the true decisive quest starts in two years time when the LHC resumes operations at much higher energies," he said "…and I never skulk."

"Well, if you're not here to beg me to work with you again… why are you here?"

"I need to borrow some films."

"Oh, you've come to the right place. Just call me Rajflix."

"No thank you."

"Come to think of it, you probably have everything I've got. I've see your collection, its redonkulous," he said.

"Yes it is, but I require something, only you can provide."

"Bolly porn?"

Sheldon gave him a look.

"What then?"

"Films about love."

"Come again?!"

"Slushy puerile stories with overly romantic sentimentality. Do you have them?"

"Sure I have them," said Raj puzzled, "but why do _you_ want them?"

"For research," he said.

"This _is_ about the CERN results, isn't it?" said Raj waving a finger at him. "…you're crying on the inside," he said sympathetically.

"I'll ignore that!"

* * *

That morning had left its mark on Penny, a physical imprint. She could still feel his warm lips and the smooth skin of his back on her fingertips. The compulsion to kiss him had been overwhelming. When he told her about his attraction, she let it draw her in.

What had I expected exactly? said thought.

She had wanted to make out with him, but she hadn't thought beyond that. He had been right. A simple kiss, escalated far quicker than anticipated. These last two weeks she had learnt that Sheldon Cooper was full of surprises. But she had to let it go, she told herself.

There was a knock. It was Leonard.

"Hi Penny," he said.

"Hi," she said, feeling thoroughly terrible.

"I see you've cleaned up,"

"Oh yes, I had some help…" she looked around. The place still looked great.

"How are you, Penny? I was worried and a little disappointed the other evening. You just don't seem yourself lately." He said as he sat down next to her on the couch.

Should she tell him? No!

"I did have too much to drink, but you really shouldn't worry."

"I know that you are bored with your job and frustrated about what to do next. I understand, but the drinking? It's not a good sign to drink alone like that."

"Leonard, I admit I have some bad habits. I'm not perfect, but I never really was. You are right about the drinking though, it didn't solve anything." She left it at that for now.

He seemed to relax a little and said. "We've having Chinese over at my apartment, if you wanted to join us?"

"Us?"

"Me, Howard and Raj. Sheldon's busy"

"Sure," she said.

It was then, that she wondered if Sheldon might tell Leonard what she had done. He had managed to hide his attraction from everyone but kissing was a very different matter.

"Hi guys," she said, as she arrived.

Raj nodded and Howard said "Hey."

Penny sat down and Leonard passed her a carton of food.

"Thanks."

"So where's the wackadoodle?" Howard asked.

"He's locked in his room, he doesn't want to be disturbed this weekend," said Leonard, looking in the direction of the bedrooms with a slightly furrowed expression. "I hope he's not building something in there."

"I told you it was only a matter of time, before the gremlins in that guys head planned a mutiny," said Howard, looking serious.

Raj whispered in Howards' ear. "Raj thinks he's upset about the supersymmetry news."

Penny stiffened; maybe this was the first sign of a breakdown after all. She felt a panic rising in her chest and privately dropped him a quick text. "Shelly, hope you're okay?"

His reply didn't come until just before she went home to bed. "Very well, thank you."

On the Monday after her shift, she got in and dropped her mail on the coffee table. It normally stays unopened for a couple of days. If she can't see a bill, it isn't a bill! But today something else arrived, a large brown envelope. She opened one end and reached inside, pulling out a stack of pages bound together. A note attached read, 'Please enter intended date and sign.' It was titled, 'The Relationship Agreement.'

* * *

**Thank you everyone who has read my story and for your kind reviews. I have really enjoyed writing this. The shenny is an intriguing idea which I think, with care, could make for an exciting story on the show. **


	7. Chapter 7

OMG! Penny's first reaction was total shock. Once this subsided she thought, it's kind of adorable though. He's sent me a relationship agreement, that's so Sheldon.

Wait a minute; did I agree to be his girlfriend? Penny felt the blood rushing to her head. "Maybe one day," those were her exact words. He can't hold her to that surely. She started to flick through the pages then stopped herself. What am I doing? This is ridiculous, I'm not signing this thing, she thought. Walking to the bin, she was fully prepared to throw it away but then hesitated and couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Instead, she tucked it between two magazines on her bookshelf.

Then, she marched straight over to the other apartment and walked in. He was alone.

"Sheldon, I need a word."

"Oooh Penny, did you pick up your mail this morning," he said like an excited kid. He was standing in the kitchen.

"I sure did, Mr Pushy!"

"Pushy? not at all, I simply want you to be a little more, date specific," he said, and he gave her a quick smile.

"Huh!"

"So I know when you are going to be my girlfriend," he said.

She walked over to the counter, "Sweetie, I said _maybe_."

"I know."

"But you know that means it might never happen, right?"

"Oh, it will."

Her mouth dropped open.

"What?!"

"You will be my girlfriend," he said.

Penny was speechless, she stood there trying to figure out what to say next but no words came.

"I'm still working out the details, of course. I tried researching a similar scenario, but had little luck," he said. "I trawled through 100s of hours of romantic gibberish and couldn't find one single depiction where a man successfully steals his best friends girlfriend, whilst maintaining said friendship, _and_ keeping his ex-girlfriends' friendship concurrently," he shook his head in disbelief.

"That's cause there isn't one!" she shouted.

"There isn't?"

"No Sheldon, you can't avoid hurting people."

"Are you sure?"

"YES, I'm sure!"

He looked deflated. "Well, that just leaves the three most apparent alternatives," he said.

"Which are?"

"Option one; we each let our current relationships run their course. Option two; we end them prematurely. Option 3; we have an illicit affair," he said "…and if my recent inquiry is anything to go by, that third option is exceedingly hazardous."

She smirked.

"Which do you chose?" he asked, then he quickly added, "…pick wisely."

"Option one."

"Hmmmm", he said. "Very well, if you could please inform me how many weeks, months or years that will be, I will make a note of it."

Penny just smiled. She could have told him it was never going to happen but the truth was, she didn't want too. Breaking Leonard's heart and losing all her friends was an option she knew she did not want. But she also didn't want to let go of the idea of Sheldon and their _one day_. She went back to her apartment feeling so much more relaxed about the whole thing.

* * *

Leonard and Sheldon decided to have a 'Star Wars consecutive night marathon'. They would watch the first 'Star Wars' film after dinner on Tuesday evening, 'The Empire Strikes Back' the following night, finishing up with 'Return of the Jedi' on Thursday night with pizza.

"What do you think?" Leonard asked.

"But we've seen them." Penny complained.

"Yes, but not for ages. Come on, it will be fun, Howard and Bernadette are coming tomorrow. It will be like a double date."

"Ahem!" said Sheldon.

"A double date, plus Sheldon," Leonard chuckled.

"Sure."

Penny had not been all that thrilled about the idea, but the first night was more fun than she expected. She put on a bright pink top and jeans and curled her hair a little. She didn't want to make too much effort. Just a little, she thought.

When she arrived Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette were sitting on the couch in a row.

"You look nice," Leonard said.

"Thanks"

"Take the armchair, I'll sit on a chair," he said. She went to sit down.

"Hi Penny," said Bernadette. "I see you've been roped into this too?"

"She loves it really," said Howard turning to Bernadette and giving her hand a little squeeze.

"He keeps hoping that I'll eventually let him mount his light sabers on the wall over our bed," she complained.

Penny smiled.

Everyone helped themselves to Thai, while Sheldon scooted around the room adjusting the speakers for what he liked to call 'the acoustic sweet spot'. Penny didn't watch him at first but kept catching him in her peripherals. That lanky praying mantis, she sniggered. That lanky well-proportioned praying mantis, were her true thoughts. She had started to notice that his frame was appealing, that she liked his nimble and purposeful movements.

After they had eaten, he announced a break and offered to refresh their drinks. "There will be a fifteen minute bathroom break and the film will commence at exactly 20:00." Howard and Bernadette smiled at each other.

"Sheldon, why can't you just say 8 o'clock?" Leonard moaned.

Penny watched Sheldon pick up their plates, take them to the kitchen and started making the teas.

"Who wants beer? she asked.

"I do," Howard piped up.

"I'll get them," she said going to the kitchen and taking two beers from the fridge.

"Ooh, the Simpsons," said Howard flicking through the channels while they waited. "I haven't seen this one."

Sheldon was delicately arranging the cups with the tab from each tea bag pointing in the exact same direction. She nudged him with her shoulder, "Move along" she said in hushed tones. He didn't budge. She nudged him again. "Stop that." he said quietly. Penny placed her beers right next to Sheldon's cups. "I'm using that space," he whispered and flashed her a playful look.

Bernadette glanced up from the screen and happened to look in their direction. She watched them for a minute. Are they flirting? No, that's completely absurd; she thought and went back to watching TV.

* * *

The following evening, not long after she got home.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"

She opened the door.

"Hello future girlfriend," he said with a glint in his eye.

"Don't call me that," Penny whispered, dragging him by the arm inside and shutting the door quickly.

"Would you prefer FG?" he said.

"Not really," she said. "So why did you pop by, Sheldon?"

"I came to let you know, 'The Empire Strikes Back' evening is postponed until tomorrow," he said.

"Oh, that's a shame. I can't believe I'm saying this but last night was fun," she said.

"So do you want to hang out? I have cocoa."

"I have things to do," he said "…but I do like cocoa."

She smiled and went round to the kitchen counter to start making some. As she stood behind him, she suddenly noticed the gentle slope of his neck. She hadn't paid much attention to it before. He looked almost majestic sitting there and she felt something stir. She walked over behind him to examine it more closely. Reaching out, she stroked her finger down the back of his neck to his shoulders. He closed his eyes.

Walking around the chair to face him, he opened them and they looked at each other for a second. She thought about kissing him. Is it so wrong? she thought, it's just a kiss. But as she lent across he immediately jumped out of the chair.

"Dangerous Liaisons," he yelped.

"Sorry, what?"

"The Vicomte de Valmont sort to ruin the virtuous Madame de Tourvel."

Sheldon what are you rambling about?" she said.

"You're trying to seduce me," he said, crossing his arms and looking back at her with a penetrating glare.

She felt herself blush, "I-I… am not!"

"You're not?"

"I'm... most certainly… aren't," she stammered.

"Hmmmmm, that's exactly what Valmont inferred to Madame de Tourvel when he urged her to lose her inhibitions."

"When the hell did you turn into Raj?" she said mockingly.

"I see it clearly now."

"It was just a kiss."

"You want the fruit but don't want to pay for it."

She gasped. "That's not true!"

"Isn't it?" he said leaning right over her, as she sat on the couch. "How long have you been dragging your feet over Leonard?"

"Sheldon, stop it right now!"

He straightened up and looked down at her. "There's one thing that you didn't count on, Penny?" he said softly. "I'm not Leonard you know!" He turned and stalked out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Could this get any worse? If it wasn't bad enough that she wanted sex with Sheldon, _now he knew it too_!

The second Star Wars film night was about to commence and Penny would give anything to avoid going. She didn't want to sit in that room with His-Royal-Smugness after he told her off for trying to make out with him.

He was right about all of it. He was right about her trying to seduce him. He was right about her dragging her feet in her relationship. Leonard was like a comfy chair, so familiar and secure. It had been a while since she'd had that level of security and here she was, six years later, considering his lunatic roommate. It was a difficult thing to admit.

Dr Sheldon Cooper. He wasn't a comfy chair at all. He was a terrible boyfriend. She couldn't imagine herself putting up with what Amy does. All those rules and routines would drive her to homicide. No thank you.

Yet the way he challenged her last night was faintly erotic. She had wanted to tear those superhero t-shirts right off his pasty white shoulders but she didn't want the consequences that would follow.

I am a fruit thief, she thought.

Just at that moment, there was a knock. It must be Leonard coming to get me, she thought. Instead she found Bernadette and Amy on her doorstep.

"Hi girls, what's up?" she said.

"Hi Penny," said Bernadette. "We're going to have to skip 'Star Wars' tonight I'm afraid. This is an emergency."

"Oh thank god." Penny said, gesturing for them to come in. "Can I get you something?"

"We need everything you're got!" said Bernadette.

Penny grabbed the wine and brought over three glasses.

"Open that sucker," Amy ordered.

Penny poured out three glasses, "What's the big emergency?" she said taking a big sip.

"Sheldon's dumped me!" Penny's wine came straight back out. She jumped up to the kitchen, coughing.

"Are you okay?" Bernadette asked.

"Sure..." Penny wheezed. Cough, cough.

"He just turned up last night out of the blue, his eyes as big as an frightened owl," she said.

"What did he say?" Bernadette asked.

"Well when I finally got it out of him, he said he wanted to terminate our relationship agreement." Amy sobbed.

Penny felt her cheeks warm.

"Did he say why?" said Bernadette, looking over at Penny for support.

She pointed to her throat. Cough. Bernadette frowned.

"He said we had significantly deviated from the original terms of the relationship agreement," she said. "I told him that I wanted things to change but only slowly. That I thought he was growing to want the changes too," she sobbed.

"What did he say to that?"

"He said he had come to realize through his own experiments, that precise balancing is utterly unnatural in physics theories and it was time for a new approach in understanding strict reductionism and the absolute scale."

"Oh dear, not the supersymmetry dilemma again?" Bernadette sighed.

"I know!" Amy said, "It's not even a proven theory!" she huffed, slumping down on the couch and crossing her arms in defiance.

Penny returned to her seat.

"Amy, I'm really sorry," said Bernadette. "I feel terrible."

"It's okay, because I know exactly who's to blame," Amy announced.

"You do?" said Bernadette. A chill crept up Penny's spine.

"Raj!"

"Raj? surely not," said Bernadette.

"Just before he left, he quoted some rubbish which I swear was from Bridget Jones!" Amy said.

Bernadette gasped.

"Amy, I don't know what to say," said Penny finally recovering her composure.

"Don't worry, he'll come crawling back," said Amy. "Sheldon and I are perfect for each other, he'll come to his senses eventually."

"Is there's anything we can do?" Bernadette said.

"Nope, but I know what _I'm_ going to do!" she said.

"What's that?" Penny asked hesitantly.

"Ask Stuart out on a date," she said.

"Oh Amy, are you sure?" said Penny.

"Once Sheldon sees I'm with Stuart again, he'll change his mind. Then I'm going to deal with that Raj!"

Amy wouldn't be dissuaded; she set off on her mission immediately. Thanking the girls, she told them she would keep them updated on her progress. Then she hurried out the door and down the stairs.

"ALRIGHT MISSY!" Bernadette yelled. "What the hell's going on with you and Sheldon!"

"What?'

"Don't play the innocent with me. Tuesday night he was giving you looks that could melt the polar ice caps and now this! I'm not stupid you know!"

"Oh Bernadette" said Penny putting her hands over her eyes.

"OMG, I'm right?" Bernadette said with genuine surprise.

Penny let out a sigh, "Sheldon has been expressing… things and I…"

"You like it?" Bernadette took this in for a minute. "How far as it gone?" she asked.

"We've kissed."

"Do you love him? Does he love you?"

Penny was dumbstruck. Neither of them had mentioned 'love' they hadn't talked about anything really. She suddenly felt so stupid. How could she even contemplate anything with Sheldon based on so little?

"I'm not sure," she said.

"Well you better get sure because this is serious!" said Bernadette. "If you don't love each other, you need to knock it on the head now, so we can patch up this whole business between Sheldon and Amy, before it's too late."

A sudden blast of reality hit Penny, what was she thinking? He had spoken about passion, and she had felt lust.

She heard a buzzer sound and the other apartment door open. "I'll get it," Sheldon's voice rang out. She heard him treading down the stairs. She crept out and rushed down after him, catching him up on the first floor.

"Option ONE, Sheldon!" she barked, "What kind of scientist doesn't know the difference between one and two?"

He looked at her bemused, "What kind of waitress doesn't know the difference between one and three?" he mocked in reply. Then continued down the next flight.

When he got to the bottom, he opened the door to the pizza delivery guy. Penny ran down.

"Sheldon, we had a deal!"

"No Penny, you alleged you had chosen option one, when in fact you chose option three. I simply chose option two."

"We can't chose different options."

"Why on earth not?"

"Because… we can't and I didn't chose three."

"Oh you did," he said.

"Whatever option you folks ordered, its here now," said the delivery guy looking bored. Sheldon took out some money and handed it over. He took the boxes and made his way back up.

"Come back here!" she said trailing up after him. "Why didn't you tell me you picked option two!"

"You didn't ask."

"Okaaay, you were right, I did chose option three."

He stopped dead. "I know," he said looking at his feet.

"I still chose option three."

He gave her a tense look, "You can't do that."

"Why not?" she said, hoping he would give something away about how he felt.

"That option is no longer available."

He turned and reached for the doorknob. She stared at him for a moment taking in his answer.

"I should have corrupted you when I had the chance," she joked.

He looked back at her, she smiled and went inside her apartment.

Bernadette was waiting, "I'm going over for pizza night, are you coming?"

"No, please tell Leonard I'm busy and I'll see him tomorrow for the last film. I need some time," she said.

"Sure," said Bernadette with a concerned look.

Penny flopped down on the couch. She glanced over towards the bookshelf. Curious. Getting up, she walked over and removed the brown envelope from between the magazines where she'd left it. She pulled the booklet out and sat down.

"Alright Sheldon, lets see what you got," she said and started to read.


	9. Chapter 9

Penny mind was ticking over like a scoreboard. The relentless ache in the pit of her stomach was unmistakable. She now knew how she felt about Sheldon. She lay in bed while the tight sensation built up inside her. Whatever happened between them, she had to break up with Leonard. They were stagnating. She was staying because it was easier. When did I become such a coward? she thought.

The relationship agreement was sitting on the coffee table where she had left it. She had never read the one Sheldon had given Amy. Although from what had been mentioned of it, this was a very different document. She rolled out of bed and walked towards it. Running her finger across the cover as if by doing so, she could somehow touch him.

Her phone was on the table beside it, she reached over.

A text from Amy.

'Date acquired. Facebook updated. Will keep you posted,' she sighed and got ready for work.

* * *

Raj and Leonard were sitting in the university café at lunchtime.

Howard approached and took a seat, "Hi guys," he said. "So Leonard, have you spoken to Sheldon today," he asked.

"Not since I drove him to work this morning, why?"

"Because Bernie told me he broke up with Amy."

"Nooooo!" said Raj.

"Really? He never said a word," he said. "He was really quiet on the journey but I was just thankful for the peace, so I didn't question it."

"Super villain quiet?" asked Howard with a quizzical look.

Raj sniggered.

"Oh god!" said Leonard to himself.

What?" Raj asked.

"Cats!"

They see Sheldon approaching, he placed his tray on the table and sat down next to Leonard.

"Hello."

"Hi Sheldon" said Leonard. "We heard about you and Amy. I'm sorry."

"Hmm, it's nice to see the prattle vine is still fully operational," he mocked.

"Please don't get cats," Leonard pleaded.

Sheldon signed. 'I have no intention of getting cats."

"But that's what you do!" groaned Leonard.

"I resent the implication that I'm a moggy-obsessed dolt."

"Okay I'm sorry…" he said. "…just don't get cats."

Sheldon gave him a glare.

"So why did you break up with Amy? I thought you too were like matching amoebas? said Howard.

Sheldon scoured, "It's all in the science, Howard."

"I don't follow."

"As you know, I have difficulty negotiating intercommunication. Therefore, I devised a system based on physicists instead. I was able to expand the fundamental geometrical symmetries of science and apply them to people."

"And that works?" he asked.

"Of course, I'm surprised I never thought of it before."

"Oh come on Sheldon, how would that work?" Leonard asked.

"It's simple really. The same patterns are reproduced in all levels of the cosmos, from the grandest to the most elementary. On a very basic level, the microcosm of human nature is identical to the macrocosm of the universe."

"Sheldon, that actually very profound," said Howard.

"I know."

Howard rolled his eyes.

"So how did Amy take it?"

"She's not pleased," he said with a crinkled expression. "Nevertheless I would very much like to continue my friendship with Amy, with her approval of course."

"That's very mature of you, Sheldon," said Leonard.

"Well, she has become a dear friend, just as we are best friends," he said turning towards Leonard.

"I guess…" said Leonard uncomfortably.

Just then Sheldon left eye started to twitch. He gathered up his bag and rushed out the door.

Leonard called after him but he didn't turn back. "Oh dear, Penny told me Amy was worried about him, but he seemed okay. I guess I was wrong."

"The guy is broken like a rose in the snow," said Raj. The guys frowned.

"He seems okay about the break up. It's almost like there's something else bothering him."

"He borrowed a load of films off me the last week," said Raj. "All about love."

"Get outta town!" said Howard.

"Maybe he was worried about their relationship." Leonard said.

"I didn't think of that," said Raj "but has Amy been sending any of you weird messages?" he asked.

"Not me."

"Nope."

"Listen to this "Surrender Raj, I dare you to deny it." And "I'm coming for you, be prepared."

Leonard and Howard looked over at each other.

"Holy crap! Do you think Amy's got a thing for you?" Howard asked.

Raj frowns.

"Maybe that's why they split up," said Leonard.

Raj looked stunned, "I don't think so."

"Well no one else is getting weird messages." Howard teased.

* * *

When Penny got to work she felt no better. The tightening in the pit of stomach hadn't subsided. She made the decision she would finish the morning shift and then make an excuse to go home. There was no point putting it off any longer, she had to know.

She texted Sheldon, "I need to see you. We have urgent things to talk about."

"When?" came his simple reply.

"Before Leonard gets back tonight."

"This afternoon?"

"Yes."

"I'll have to play hookey?"

"Yes you will," she typed smiling.

Once she had Sheldon's confirmation, she made her way home, showered and changed. There would be enough time before he arrived to prepare. She grabbed a notebook and a marker and started writing. Everything that had been rattling round in her head spilled out in a cascade.

Sheldon had to take the bus home, without his bus pants! It was horribly distressing and as soon as he got back he rushed straight into the bathroom to shower. Penny had heard his return and his scampering footsteps up the stairs to the apartment. Ignoring the tension that had now moved to her chest, she rose and made her way over. He was still in the shower so she sat down and waited.

He emerged some time later with a fresh set of clothes on, "Penny?" he exclaimed, surprised to see her already there.

"I hope you don't mind I let myself in."

"Not at all," he said sitting down in his spot next to her.

She looked at him for a moment and then handed him the relationship agreement.

He looked down at it and then back at her, "You can't sign while you are still with Leonard."

"I know, I haven't signed. I came to give you my amends."

"Amends?"

"Yes I've marked it up. I didn't have a pen so I used a marker…"

"A marker! He gasped. "This is a legally binding document Penny, you can't make changes with a marker" he started flicking through, sighing as he came across big red marker notes, in the columns of his agreement. "I'll have to type this up again."

"And these…she said. "…are my additions"

"Additions? he said "Amy never made any additions."

"I'm not Amy you know," she mocked.

"No, I suppose not," he said taking the pad.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" he asked, gathering everything into a neat pile.

"Not exactly."

She suddenly felt very nervous.

"Can I hug you?" she asked.

"No kissing," he warned.

"No kissing," she agreed.

Penny slid her arms around his middle and drew him close. A faint smell of sweet cucumber, waffled up from his clean skin. She resisted the temptation to nuzzle into his neck, not wanting to scare him away. She felt his arms wrap around her and rest lightly on her back. The knot in her chest released and she was overwhelmed, by a feeling of complete tranquilly. Everything stopped. She knew, this is where she wanted to be. This is who she wanted to be with.

"Penny," he said. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She released him.

"I-I wanted too… why do you want to be my boyfriend?"

He looked at her, contemplating her question.

She continued, "Amy seems so perfect for you."

"No, she is not perfect for me." He said shaking his head sadly. "She does not grasp the fundamental reality of my being."

"I thought she knew everything about you"

"She attempts to train me to overcome my established routines. These habitual activities have taken me years to establish. They are the apparatus I use to decipher the complexities of the outer world. Removing them does not help me."

"I see. Have you ever told her?"

"Yes many times. I will never fully understand the aspects she attempts to install. She does not see this."

"Okay I'm starting to get it, but why me?"

"You always helped me."

"I did?"

"Yes because you are a consummate master of social nexus and all things I find unfathomable."

"I am?"

"Of course, your perception of linguistic or nonlinguistic forms is unparalleled."

"Well thank you Sheldon, that's the nicest thing you have said to me," she said. "…I think."

"But we are so different?' she continued.

"We are. I determine that we will argue 23.5% of the time but I don't object to this," he said.

"So, you want me to break up with Leonard?"

"I loath to injure him."

"So do I."

"…but this is my only chance."

"You only chance?" she asked.

"Statistically speaking it is highly unlikely another woman with your social integration will ever take the time to know someone like myself. Leonard has confessed to me the love of many women."

She nodded in agreement.

"This will never come to me again."

She felt her heart melt a little at his frank admission. He was right. She had inadvertently come to know Sheldon and it had only been because of Leonard.

"He made me know you."

"Yes and me, you."

"But he always wants more than I can give."

"The same can be said of Amy."

"Hmm, but Leonard is so jealous"

"And Amy is territorial."

"Leonard proposed to me during sex."

"That's nothing, Amy wishes to alter me for her own ends."

They both smirked.

"They are so alike," Penny said.

"And so wrong for us."

"You would never do that, would you?" she said looking at him with smiling eyes.

"I would not"

"Because we are not the sort of people who need constant reassurance from our partners."

"We do not require it."

They sat for a moment in silence.

Penny felt suddenly overwhelmed. "But I do…" she said, with tears welling up in her eyes. She turned to face him, "I love you Sheldon."

"Oh phew!" he gasped, "I love you, too."

He picked up a pen and suddenly starting flicking back through the relationship agreement, as if he had done little more than ask for a cup of tea.

"Sheldon," she whispered through misty eyes. "You love me?"

He looked over and gave her a quick nod and continued flicking.

After Penny left, Sheldon stood up and held the relationship agreement against his chest. Then he took it to his room for editing.


	10. Chapter 10

Penny returned to her apartment feeling as if she could float up off her feet. There was lightness in her heart that she hadn't felt in years. This strange man, who she had almost detested on a few occasions, had changed everything in a single instance. Wasn't that just like Sheldon? She sat down with her head tilted back, gazing up at the ceiling. He was annoying at times, but he was also wonderful. Annoying wonderful, she decided.

A light flickered from her phone, it was another text from Amy.

"First I had one date, now I have two! The first one with Stuart, the second with Raj. I'm a minx!" Well, she certainly seems to be enjoying herself now, Penny thought smiling. She placed the phone back down. Maybe it would work out for everyone after all.

Except that she still had to deal with Leonard. It was not going to be easy but it had to be faced. Tonight everyone was coming over to watch 'Return of the Jedi', Howard and Bernadette would be there. It was not an appropriate time to stage a break-up. She would speak to Leonard after the others left. It needed to be soon because she couldn't continue with the charade of having him lying next to her, knowing it was over. And every moment she postponed the truth was another minute stolen from her and Sheldon.

Some time later there was a knock at the door. It was Bernadette and Howard.

"Hi guys?"

"Rebel Alliance reporting for duty," said Howard.

"Hi Penny, we've just got here. Are you ready to coming over now?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah, I'm cool," she said pulling the door closed and following them into the other apartment.

"Hey Penny," said Leonard placing snacks on the table.

"Hi," she said with a strained smile.

Sheldon was sitting in his spot looking every tense and uncomfortable. He was attempting to pick a sticker off a comic book. "Oh why, do they put these things on here?" he complained.

"That can't be one of Stuart's surely," Howard asked.

"No, I foolishly went elsewhere."

"Right, because of Amy and Stuart?" he asked sympathetically.

"Only because it's all over facebook and I hate to be the target of tattle-tale," he said.

"Hi Sheldon," said Bernie sitting down.

"Bernadette… Penny," he said, his eyes darting away quickly as soon as they fell on her.

"Hi Sheldon," she said warmly.

"You're late," said Sheldon. "The film is about to start, so if you require a bathroom break I suggest you go now," he said.

No one spoke out, so Leonard pressed play. As the familiar title music began to ring out he sighed and said. "I remember when I first watched this. I thought it would be Luke who Princess Leia was going to end up with. Right up until this final film came out. They were so sweet together".

"That's true," said Bernadette, "she was always arguing with the other one."

"The other one?" Sheldon said, "…was Han Solo."

Bernadette just smiled. "Yes, but they did fight a lot."

"That was just _sexual tension_!" Howard said with a cheeky grin.

Penny shifted uncomfortably, she was sure Bernadette's was looking in her direction. Fixing her eyes on the television, she did her upmost to pretend she hadn't heard that conversation. Sheldon was sitting in his spot to her right. She could feel his presence at all times now. No matter where he was in the room, she felt him. He certainly had an effect on her, like she was plugged into a vitalizing energy when he was around. They had argued a lot in the past. It was only now she wondered if there had been more behind it all along.

Once the film started, she stared blankly at the screen. She let it wash over her. The tale was nothing more than a blur of movement and shapes. She was waiting.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Penny snapped out of her private daze.

"Pause! Pause!" Sheldon said.

Leonard grabbed the remote and the film froze.

"Oh drat, who can that be?" Sheldon said, getting up from his seat and making his way towards the door.

It was Amy.

"Hello Amy," he said.

"Hello Sheldon, she said.

She wandered in, her swagger a little more pronounced than usual. 'Greetings all!" she announced, they all replied.

"Amy this is a surprise," said Bernadette.

"Yes, I just had to stop by as a matter of urgency. I require that sazzy green cardigan I left behind last week. You see, I have dates and that one is a winner."

"Dates?" Sheldon inquired.

"Yes, I'm hot property," said Amy.

"Wow that's great Ames, two dates already," said Penny.

"Three." Amy squealed.

"Three?!"

"Yes, I just happened to mention at work that I was on the market and whammo… a text from Gerald in Biochemistry."

"Impressive!" said Penny.

"Yes, I'm a woman of the world now Sheldon, a free agent," she said flicking her hair back and rocking on her heels awkwardly. "You missed your chance, you'll never know the tantalizing lions of Amy Farrah Fowler." She shook her head in sorrow.

"I suppose not," Sheldon said.

"Anyway I need that cardy."

"I put it in my wardrobe. I will get it for you," he said.

"No need, I don't want to interrupt your dopey Star Trek movie."

"Wars" everyone said in unison. Sheldon looked at them with an impressed expression as Amy scampered off.

"Geez, you okay Sheldon?" Howard asked.

"About what?" said Sheldon.

"Sheldon! he means about Amy dating other guys," Leonard said.

"Of course, I did in fact release her from contract so she is indeed a _free agent_."

"Toilet break!" Howard yelled.

"Ohhh!" Sheldon huffed, "Well, I suppose I could make some beverages and open a beer for Penny", he said.

Leonard looked at him. Open a beer for Penny? That's new, he thought. Just as Sheldon was about to stand up, Amy came flying out of the bedroom and threw something on the coffee table with a thud. "What the heck is this?" she yelled. Penny's eyes widened.

"Oh dear," Bernadette said sadly. "Your old relationship agreement."

"No! This is not _our_ relationship agreement," said Amy. "No, this is a brand new relationship agreement that Sheldon has drawn up for himself… and PENNY!"

Bernadette inhaled sharply and slammed her hand over her mouth.

The room went dead silent.

"Holy crap!" Howard finally said.

"Sheldon, what the hell?" Leonard said angrily.

Sheldon didn't move, his eyed were glued to the document in front of him. He was frozen where he sat, barely breathing.

"What are you playing at Sheldon?" said Amy. "What kind of dream world are you living in? Penny would never sign this nonsense."

"Of course she wouldn't sign that!…" said Leonard looking over at her. Penny didn't say a word. "Would you?" he prompted.

"Noooooo…" Penny said unconvincingly.

"You wouldn't?" Sheldon asked.

"Well maybe… yes…"

Utter silence.

"Sweet lord almighty," Howard gasped.

"You can't be serious! What the hell is going on here? Are you sleeping together?" he yelled, his voice becoming more and more shrill.

"No!" Penny protested.

There was another pause.

"Well… just the once," said Sheldon.

Gasps!

"What the frack!" Howard swore.

"Sheldon! that's not what he meant," Penny said.

"Oh, I don't believe this!" Leonard shouted and he stood up quickly and stormed off to his room.

Slam!

No one spoke for a minute then Bernadette said, "Well, I guess we'd better go." Howard and Bernadette got up and put their jackets on.

"I'm going too," said Amy, "…but I'm really disappointed," she said. "Especially in _you_!" she said pointing at Sheldon.

Once the door closed, Penny and Sheldon sat there alone. He turned to her and said calmly, "Well, if that was your option two, I like mine better."


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, Howard caught up with Raj on his way to Leonard's office. "Raj…", he hissed to attract his attention. "…are you going to see Leonard?"

"Yeah why?"

He gestured for him to hang back. "Well, you'll never guess what happened last night."

"Urm, let's see. You argued about the death star ... again," said Raj.

"No."

"Sheldon explained the theoretical element untrioctium and workable lightsaber theory."

"No, nothing about Star Wars."

"Urm...Leonard and Sheldon fought over the correct allocation of university funds next year."

"You'll never get it." he said looking around to check that no one was approaching. Then in a lowered tone he said, "Sheldon and Penny are getting it together."

Raj looked perplexed. "When you say _getting it together_... how do you mean?"

"I mean they are hooking up… getting jiggy… going to start dating!"

"Pfff!" Raj said.

"It's true, there was a big scene. She admitted it right in front of Leonard!" he said. "I left shortly after but I'm desperate to know what went down." He said glancing over with interest in the direction of Leonard's lab.

Raj frowned and said with a disinterested look, "This is just like that time you told me all foreigners must carry their friends 'Arms of the Nazgul' weapons back from Comic Con."

"No it's not, I swear. They have a Relationship Agreement and everything."

"Dude, don't bother, I'm not falling for it," he said, shaking his head.

"Fine, you can hear it for yourself."

They made their way to Leonard's lab. He was busy adjusting a calorimeter, when he saw them enter. "Hi guys."

"Hi," said Howard then he added, "How'ya doing?"

"Better than last night. Listen, I'm sorry about Star Wars night ending the way it did."

"It's cool, it wasn't your fault."

"Well, it's not every day you find out your girlfriend is breaking up with you for Professor Frink."

"So it's true!" Raj gasped.

"Yeah, it's totally messed up," Leonard replied.

"…but I-I don't believe it. Sheldon and Penny?!" Raj stammered.

"You're not the only one!"

"So what are you going to do about the apartment and everything?" Howard asked.

"Nothing.

"Nothing?" Howard asked

"Nope, because the whole thing is a total joke," he said.

"It's kind of surreal," said Howard.

"Yes, but it sort of reminds me of when the Green Lantern got possessed by the evil space demon, Parallax," Raj said. " Did Sheldon have a power ring?"

Howard groaned.

"Or a lantern?" Raj continued.

"No Raj is right, in a way" said Leonard. "This is crazy even for Sheldon. Maybe things got too intimate with Amy and he's freaking out."

"Or he's possessed," said Raj nodding to himself.

"So you're not mad at them?" Howard said.

"Sure I'm mad at them," he said. "…but those two won't last a week."

"Well dude. We've got your back, if you need us." said Howard.

"Thanks guys, but I know exactly where to begin..."

* * *

Penny felt so wretched; the deafening silence from the adjacent apartment wasn't helping matters in the slightest. It was her day off and she spent much of the morning struggling over what to do first. Talk to Leonard, or talk to Sheldon. Perhaps giving Leonard some space would be preferable right now. There was little she could say to make him feel better. There had been no text from Sheldon. She wanted to invite him over, to find out how he was coping. She was also desperate to know things between them were on still on track. It couldn't all be for nothing, not after their unfortunate reveal.

She began to straighten up her apartment. If he did come over tonight she didn't want him distracted by 'misaligned magazines' or clothes all 'higgledy piggledy' as he liked to call it. She wanted him all to herself. At 5pm sharp she would shower, brush her teeth and rinse twice with mouthwash. Any physical contact with Sheldon must be preceded by both, within a five hour period. As per, their impending Relationship Agreement. Once she signed, close contact with anyone else was prohibited. Kissing friends, relatives, other people's babies, pets or strangers requiring CPR, were all strictly off limits. She had made no changes to this section because she knew how difficult his phobias were to cope with. The remarkable thing about this section was not the restrictions themselves but the lack of physical constraints. There was no mention of a coitus ban, no hand holding clauses.

After her shower, she sent Sheldon a text to invite him over 'as soon as you are able' she requested.

The previous night she had texted Amy right away, "I'm so sorry Ames. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope we can be friends again one day." Her reply arrived this afternoon.

"I'm feeling very hurt right now Penny but I do understand. Sheldon has animal magnetism that can bewitch and beguile us all. He has no control over it!"

Penny smiled as she thought about her unusual friend. She was about to reply when someone knocked on the door. Placing her phone down she went to answer the door.

"Mrs Cooper, this is a pleasant surprise," Penny said. "Are you visiting Sheldon later?"

"Yes, but I arrived early and to try and catch you at home, seeing as this concerns you," Mary said with a worried expression.

"Sure, come on in," said Penny.

Mary made herself comfortable on the chair Sheldon would usually take. Penny thought to mention it but the look on Mary's face made her feel slightly apprehensive.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"Not for me, thank you."

"So, have you and Sheldon got plans this weekend?" said Penny.

"No, he doesn't know I'm here yet. I came as soon as I heard, to sort this out right away."

"Sort this out?" said Penny, stiffening up.

"Yes, it's deeply worrying. I never had any of this funny business with my Shelly before. My two other children were like rabbits in springtime but he was always …different," she said.

"Yes, he is that," said Penny.

"His father, God rest his soul, used to say '_Mary, you can't plant a seed where there ain't no dirt. And that boys' thoughts are purer than 40% proof bourbon._'"

Penny smiled.

"So as you can imagine, when he took up with Amy I thought God had answered my prayers."

Penny felt her heart drop to the floor. "Y-you want him to go back to Amy?" she asked.

"It would be a load off my mind, and yours I'm sure."

"Not really," Penny said her eyes beginning to moisten.

"That's mighty Christian of you," Mary said, " but I will do my upmost to dissuade my boy from burdening his affections on you this way."

"Burdening his…?"

"As the good book says, 'Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.'"

"…but Mrs Cooper, I want to be Sheldon's girlfriend."

Mary sat there for a moment in shock and then she smiled broadly, "Well ain't that just grand," she said.

"You're pleased?"

"Well of course I pleased."

"…but you said, _Amy_ answered your prayers."

"The sad truth is, I never thought I would see my Shelly with anyone. Now that's not something a God fearing woman likes to admit about her own son. He's smarter than us all at most things but when it comes to the practicalities of life, that boy has nothing but mayflies in his head."

Penny nodded.

"Now Amy, is a fine enough young woman but I sense that she was a little similar in that department…?" They both nodded in agreement.

"…but if Sheldon is with you, well that's a completely different story. I wouldn't have to worry about my boy anymore. Not with you by his side.

"Oh, Mrs Cooper, I don't know what to say..." Penny said choking up.

"Well, I always knew you had a special way with my Shelly, a mother sees this things. I couldn't be more thrilled."

Penny leapt up and threw her arms around Marys' shoulders. "Thank you so much," she said.

"You're welcome Penny, my dear. Now I believe he will be home by now so I'll be off. I'm so glad to be delivering better news than I thought," she said.

"But why did you think the news would be bad?" said Penny feeling a rising suspicion.

"Well it was the way Leonard explained it. He said Sheldon had taken leave of his senses. That he'd broken up with his girlfriend and become infatuated with you."

"Did he now…?" said Penny.

"I take it you and him are not…"

"Not anymore," she said.

After Mary left Penny felt like marching over and saying something to Leonard, but then she remembered the shocking way he had found out about her and Sheldon. His plan had failed, so she would ignore this.

As the night drew on she realized Sheldon might not appear at all due to the impromptu nature of his mothers visit. He had texted to say he was 'detained'. Feeling only a little deflated because Mary's approval had made such a huge difference, she got ready for bed, when…

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

She dashed to the door and swung the door open. "Hello future boyfriend," she said.

"Hello Penny. I apologize for the late hour," he said.

"That's fine, I'm just pleased to see you at all tonight. I know your mother was here."

"Yes, on a surprise visit. I don't normally enjoy _surprise visits_. It was most uncharacteristic, she knows I require forewarning in order to plan appropriate activities."

Penny didn't answer incase Mary had not mentioned their little chat.

"How is Leonard?" she asked, gesturing for him to come in and closing the door quietly.

"I knocked on his door but he told me to go away. He's now being very quiet but I never really know what that means."

"It means that things are bad," she said sadly, as she went to sit down.

Sheldon thought on this for a moment and said, "We need to get our friends back."

"Yes, we do," she said. "Any ideas?"

"Hmmm, I will work on it." She didn't doubt that he would.

Sheldon made his way across the room to the chair his mother had vacated earlier. He carefully placed the Relationship Agreement on the coffee table and said, "In any case, I just wanted to drop off this revised version for your perusal."

"Thanks," she said picking it up.

"Just to forewarn you, in lieu of recent incidents, I have taken the liberty to postdate the relationship agreement three months from tomorrow," he said.

"Oh no, not a beta test!"

"No... courtship."

"Does courtship include kissing?" she asked sulkily.

"Perhaps."

"What else?" she said, eyeing him cheekily.

"I actively court you."

"Huh?" she said.

"I must _woo_ you."

"Sheldon Cooper must woo me," she suddenly found this very amusing and began to snicker.

"Yes, I bestow gifts upon you to win your favor, you set me tasks to perform and you resist me."

"Resist you?' she laughed at this. Sliding down on to the floor in front of him, she placed her hands over his arms, which were resting on either side of his chair.

"Most certainly," he continued. "You subject me to whatever deeds you wish. You scorn me, until I lament of approaching death from unsatisfied desire."

"What have you been reading, sweetie?"

"Granted the text is a little mature but it's still immensely informative."

She slipped her hands inside his jacket. He didn't flinch or move away and she enjoyed the warmth of this body on her now cooling skin. Looking at him intently, she said. "Your eyes are amazing."

"Are they?"

"Yes, they are. They're like the ocean or something."

"The ocean is not a color if that is what you are implying. There is an intrinsic property caused by selective absorption and scattering of white light."

"You would know that," she mocked, edging closer.

"I would."

"Sheldon, I'm trying to woo _you_."

"I see."

"If I jumped in the shower would you could scrub my back?"

"You've already showered."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's a stipulation of our agreement… and you're mocking me."

"I am, but I would like a back scrub?" she said smiling. "…and you could jump in with me.

He said nothing for a minute, he just looked back at her. "A lady must protect her virtue."

"Sheldon, my virtue deserted me years ago."

"Courtship is morally elevating. It is the path lovers take to become receptive to one other, before earthly desires consume them. "

"Wow…" she said. That really did sound wonderful and it didn't matter where he was getting it from. "Okay, you can go … for now" she said. He stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Very wise," he said. "My beastly motives must be kept in check." She chuckled again.

"Goodnight Penny" he said.

"Hold on mister!"

"You said I could assign tasks," she said.

"Anything, I declare myself at your service."

"A kiss goodnight," she said approaching him. "I demand it and you can't get out of it because you…" he was already kissing her. The warmth of his kiss permeated her whole body. Soft and enveloping she wanted to embrace him and never let go but it ended too soon.

"Why three months of courtship?" she asked still holding him.

"It's something I need."

Penny understood. This relationship would be a considerable transition for him. The rites and rules of courtship were something he could identify with.

"…and I promised my mother," he finished.

Penny smiled. "Let the courtship begin," she said.


	12. Chapter 12

Leonard was sitting at his desk reading through the latest high-temperature superconductivity results, when Sheldon emerged from the direction of the bedrooms. When he saw that Leonard was busy on his laptop, he attempted to tiptoe towards his spot unnoticed.

"Sheldon!" Leonard announced, as if he had sensed him approaching.

Freezing at the mention of his name, he looked over. "I don't want any trouble," he said.

"There won't be any, I don't want to talk," said Leonard, dismissively. He closed the laptop and walked over to the armchair, making himself comfortable.

Keeping one eye on him at all times, Sheldon slowly lowered himself on to his spot. He reached for the remote and flicked to the Syfy channel. Leonard was sitting with his arms crossed and a slightly grim expression on his face. They didn't speak for a minute or two.

"So! what the hell is going on?" he finally asked.

"I thought you didn't want to talk," Sheldon said, startled.

"Okay, I've changed my mind," he said, "…are you dating Penny now, or what?"

"No… not officially."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, we are not dating presently."

'Huh," said Leonard, he then focused his attention back on the TV, deep in thought. "Why is that then?" he blurted out suddenly.

Sheldon paused and then said, "Leonard I know you must detest me right now. What can I do?"

"Stop dating Penny."

"I'm not dating Penny…yet. So, I can't stop until I start…"

"Sheldon!" said Leonard impatiently. "If you're not dating her, then what is happening? I deserve to know!"

"Yes, you do. I have decided that given the circumstances, it would be prudent for me to embark on a courtship period. If all goes to plan, we will sign the Relationship Agreement in three months time."

"Huh," said Leonard again, but this time his tone was different. Sheldon wished he could interpret the change but at least Leonard seemed more relaxed now.

* * *

The following morning when Penny opened the door to leave for work, she was surprised to see a single red rose on her doorstep. She picked it up and brought it to her nose, to take in it's aroma. It was such a beautiful specimen, bright scarlet and perfectly formed. She carefully placed it in a vase before leaving for work. As she climbed into the car, she felt a sudden rush of happiness wash over her. This was so different, this feeling. It was unburdened and free.

Reaching for her phone, she was about to text Sheldon to thank him, when she remembered his words 'accept gifts' and 'resist me'. She paused for a second and then returned the phone back in her bag, hoping she was doing the right thing.

* * *

That lunchtime, Leonard raced to the cafeteria hoping to find Raj and Howard before Sheldon got there. They often arrived before he and Sheldon these days and true to form, both of them were seated already.

"Guys," Leonard said rushing over and sitting down.

"Hey bro," said Raj.

"Hi Leonard," said Howard. "How's things in the freakathon?"

"The what?"

"The alternative dimension that is Sheldon and Penny," he said.

"Yeah, well about that. He told me last night, they won't be dating for three months," he said looking pleased.

"Cold feet already?" said Howard.

"Yeah, it looks like Penny is slowly coming to her senses."

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about them ever consummating," said Howard. He puts on his best Sheldon impression. "No Penny, coitus is a disagreeable, unsavory endeavor we will never partake in. It causes your brain cells to shrink and heaven knows you need everyone you have!"

The guys chuckled.

"Just one thing before Sheldon arrives, I was wondering if you guys could keep your ear to the ground for me?"

"You want us to spy on them," said Raj looking shocked.

"Noooo, just keep me posted if you hear anything," he said. "This thing will fizzle out, I just want to know where it's at."

"To give it a push?" said Howard teasingly.

"No, it won't need it."

"Sure," Howard said, "I've already got Bernadette on side."

"Great thanks," Leonard said. "Amy's onboard as well. I texted her last night and told her I would help her get Sheldon back. She has taken to it with real enthusiasm. Maybe a little too much," he smiled.

"How's that?" Raj asked.

"She's started calling herself 'The Operative'."

* * *

Late that evening Penny heard a light flutter outside her door. She waited for his knocks, but they didn't come. Instead, a sheet of paper slowly appeared from underneath the door. She smiled. What is he doing this time? She thought, walking over and picking up the page. It was folded in two and written in Sheldon's hand was a short paragraph of text, which began, "The circumpolar boreal of…"

Penny's eyes flick over the page quickly and back again. Realizing she could only understands a few words of it, she sighed. "Oh Sheldon, what is this?" Deciding to search the internet, she was about to get her laptop when there was a knock at the door. A normal type of knock, so it wasn't him. She pinned the note to her fridge, with a magnet and went to answer it.

It was Bernadette.

"Hi Bernie"

"Hi Penny," said Bernadette in a motherly tone "I just thought I'd stop by, see how you are doing." Penny had been expecting this little chat, ever since that fateful night when everyone had found out about her and Sheldon. The time had obviously arrived.

"Come in," she said.

Bernadette sat down on the couch, while Penny made them some drinks. "Coffee okay?"

"Sure."

"So how are you?" Bernadette asked.

"Great."

"… and Sheldon?"

Penny placed the cups down. Then she sat down and said, "I'm sorry about that night. Leonard wasn't supposed to find out like that. I was going to tell him after everyone left. It all went horribly wrong."

"It was unfortunate," Bernadette said. "but I'm more surprised you want to start a relationship with Sheldon."

"Well, if you had told me a month ago that I would be doing this, I would have thought you were taking those pills Howards mother is always on." she said.

She smiled, "So what changed?

"Nothing, not for me anyway. It was Sheldon."

Bernadette looked at her knowingly, "I think there were signs with you also," she said.

"You do?"

"Not anything the boys would pick up on, but I always wondered why you put up with so much from him. No one else does, except Amy."

"I felt protective of him, like a little brother."

"Yeah but if my little brother spoke to me that way, he would have got a swift kick in the pants. I can tell you."

Penny laughed and thought about it for a moment. She had been really lenient on Sheldon. No other guy could ever have got away with being so rude. Yes, she was protective but she had also secretly found him… cute. She'd wanted him to notice her.

"Well maybe it's because Leonard tolerates him even more than I do," she said.

"Yes, but it's obvious why Leonard does that."

"Is it?" said Penny. She had never been able to work out that one out.

"Sheldon is everything Leonard's mother wants. The son she would have chosen."

"Yes he is, but wouldn't that make it worse between them?"

"Leonard has no confidence in himself. Seeing Sheldon, the very pinnacle of what his mother thinks is success, unable to deal with basis everyday life must have its rewards."

"You mean it makes him feel better about himself? I never thought of it like that."

"Still the fact remains that Leonard is more socially advanced than Sheldon," she said. "Which leads me to ask, are you really sure about this?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure. The thought of going back to Leonard a second time fills me with dread. I wish I didn't feel this way because he's not a bad guy but there was something unspoken between me and Sheldon. Something that can only be felt. We are taking it slow though. We're trying a courtship period. Look, he sent me a rose," Penny said gesturing to the vase on her coffee table, hoping that Bernadette would be convinced.

"He did?" Bernadette said.

"Hmm, I think his mother may have had an influence there," she Penny smiling.

"He also sent me this," she said, walking to the fridge and retrieving Sheldon's note, "but I don't have a clue what it means."

Bernadette glanced at the page in Penny's hand and said, "Oh Penny, he sends you a note you can't even read. Is this man really for you?" she asked as delicately as she could.

Penny felt a doubt creeping into her soul, which she didn't want to consider. She wasn't smart enough for this brilliant man. She can't even understand a simple note.

"Can you take a look at it for me?" Penny asked pleadingly.

"Sure…" Bernadette said. She took the page from Penny and began to read. As she did so, her expression changed from neutral, to surprise, to shock.

"What is it?" Penny asked.

Bernadette paused and then said, "I-I think, it's a poem."

"A poem?"

"In a manner of speaking…" she said.

"Translate it for me, please."

"I'll have to improvise, but I'll try…" said Bernadette.

"The circumpolar boreal of Ursa Major in quadrant NQ2 contrast your eyes," she read.

"What about my eyes?" Penny asked.

Bernadette hesitated. "Well I guess it could mean... your eyes are like a billion stars."

Penny let out a breath.

"Auditory or sensorimotor response of absolute tone cognizance contrast your voice."

Bernadette thought about this one for a few seconds, "Your voice is like …. a perfect song."

Penny felt a lump catch in the back of her throat, "Carry on" she asked.

"Instantaneous kinematic equations contrast your ever prevailing tendency," Bernadette said.

"Your effect is infinity positive… it could also mean energizing, or both?"

Penny felt the tears well up in her eyes, as she waited for the next line to come.

"Betwixt azure and perdition, I venerate you," she said. "That one is easy… between heaven and hell, I long for you."

"You are, as Higgs to supersymmetry. Your vassal, Dr Sheldon Cooper." Bernadette finished, lowering the page down slowly, with an astounded expression.

Penny was now choked up with tears, "W-what d-does that last part mean?" she asked.

"Well, the Higgs Boson results at CERN are altering the validity of the current supersymmetry theory, so at a guess…"

"Yes?"

"You changed my world? Your servant. Dr Sheldon Cooper."

Bernadette's eyes had now welled up with tears too. "Oh Penny," she whimpered. "Don't listen to me, true love should never be denied," she said.

The two women fell into an hug.


	13. Chapter 13

Penny couldn't help herself. At the very next opportunity, she would try to catch Sheldon alone. She knew she was not supposed to seek him out, but to hell with it!

The following night after work, she kept listening out for movement from 4a, as she watched TV. She heard Howard and Raj arrive just before 7pm. Not long after that someone left to go to the store across the road. She was lucky, from the light footsteps and faint conversation she could tell it was Sheldon. After he had gone down the stairs, she emerged from her apartment and she waited.

"Sheldon Cooper!" she called out, as he returned back up the stairs. He looked slightly flushed from the climb and rather handsome. She bound over and she threw her arms around his neck. "I know that I'm not supposed to see you. That I should be scorning and resisting but I couldn't help it," she said smiling at him, "That poem was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever written for me."

"Then you accept my courtship?"

"Yes."

He looked pleased. "Good, now you must test me. Set me deeds to perform."

"I don't know what to ask," she said.

"There must be something you require, something you desire. You have already set one task."

She gave him a confused look.

"To get our friends back," he explained, "I will endeavor to do everything in my power. I will not fail you."

"We have Bernie back already," she said happily.

"Oh, brilliant," he said placing his hands lightly on her waist.

Penny paused, taking in his closeness for a second. She stretched up and placed a firm kiss on his lips.

"Now! be gone with you!" she mocked, dropping her arms from his neck.

"Ooh, that's very good," he said.

"Is it?"

"Yes... but scold me further."

"Try harder! It's not good enough," she snapped.

He nodded obediently and then returned to his apartment. Leonard, Raj and Howard were all sitting around about to have Thai. They had their laptops with them and Raj was buzzing around handing out beers.

"Was that Penny?" Leonard inquired.

"Yes, it was."

"Aren't you going to have dinner with her?" Howard asked.

"No, a respectable distance should be maintained," he said.

"For this… courtship thang?" Raj asked.

Sheldon paused, putting down the batteries he had just purchased. "I feel deeply uncomfortable talking about this in front of you, Leonard. Isn't it a social convention, faux par, of some kind? I can never tell."

"It's fine, go ahead," he said.

"Very well," he said, "First, I must first win her favor. There's much to be done. Wooing, which will include learning to play the Hammer Dulcimer, jousting…"

"Jousting?" said Leonard with a smile. "You're going to race on horseback, at another guy… holding a lance?"

"Hmm well, I may be called upon to defend my lady at any moment, or sent on a quest."

"She may send you to the far reaches of the globe?" Howard said snickering.

"Ooh, like Indiana Jones," Raj blurted out excitedly. Howard and Leonard frowned at him.

"Perhaps…" Sheldon said thinking deeply to himself as he sat down in his spot.

"Sounds very complicated," said Leonard. "…and why chose the Hammered Dulcimer?"

"I decided the Theremin was a little too rock'n'roll for serenading."

"Nah, go with the Theremin" said Howard chuckling. "Chicks dig that funky sound."

"Well, it does make for super science fiction theme tunes," Sheldon said. "But the dulcimer is far more…"

"Medieval?" Raj asked.

"Precisely," said Sheldon, "Oh darn it, I'll need my headphones," he said taking off towards his room.

Once he was gone, the guys exchanged looks and smiled. "Dude, you have nothing to worry about," said Howard quietly.

Leonard smiled. "I really don't. Amy has taken her name off Sheldon's emergency contact form. She's given them Penny's details," he whispered.

"Boy oh boy!" said Raj.

"Yup, the brown stuff is about to hit the proverbial," said Howard.

"Why don't you just go and talk to Penny? She's probably dying to be rescued by now," Raj said.

"Urm, not quite yet," said Leonard with a grin as he heard Sheldon reappear from the bedroom.

* * *

Penny began to look forward to each morning because when she opened her door, there was a little gift sitting outside. It was never there when she got home in the evenings, no matter how late she arrived back. Yet, it was always waiting, the following day. A small red present, flawlessly wrapped with a gold bow on top, which had been secreted over in the dead of night. Sometimes it would be chocolates, or incense. Sometimes it was an odd one, like a little globe of the world. She hadn't seen Sheldon in over a week but she didn't mind at all. He was with her in spirit and she thought about him frequently.

This morning she found a larger parcel outside her door. She texted Bernadette, as soon as she opened it, as she had done every morning since the gifts began to arrive. "Today it's a Japanese tea set."

"That's lovely, can't wait to see it." Bernadette replied.

Penny carried the gift to her kitchen and placed it on display.

* * *

Later the day, Sheldon was sitting in his office with a small red present in front of him. He was concentrating hard on folding the paper identically on both sides, when Kripke walked into his office.

"Cooper!" he said.

Sheldon didn't look up.

"What's that you got? Gifts fow the girlfwiend?"

"A gift for my would-be girlfriend" Sheldon corrected him.

"Whoa, not fow Amy then" he said smiling cheekily.

"No."

"You have anothew one on the go?" he said shocked, "You'we a dog, Cooper!"

Sheldon looked up puzzled. He wasn't unsure how the canine comparison was relevant. "It's for Penny," he said.

"Penny?" Kripke asked, "…you don't mean blonde? Hot! Cutew than a speckled pup in a wed wagon, Penny?"

"Yes."

"Leonawd's Penny?" he asked, still not convinced.

"Well, she was Leonard's Penny, but as things have transpired, she will be my Penny."

"Oh man, you're wobbing his giwlfwiend?!"

"No, not robbing. She approached me, I am merely requesting her pledge in two and a half months from now."

"That confident huh?"

"She would have become my girlfriend immediately, but I suggested a courtship."

"You'we making hew wait?!" he barked.

"I suppose I am."

"Man Cooper, I undewestimated you! You'we an ubew-dog!"

Sheldon looking even more confused.

"We awe going out, you and I." he said pointing back and forward, "I need a wingman like you."

"But, I'm not really the going out type."

"No buts, this is happening," Kripke demanded, continuing to point in Sheldon's direction. He then dropped a report on the desk and left.

Sheldon placed the wrapped present in his top left draw and picked up the report. It was entitled "Cryogenic Dark Matter search, Soudan." He'd been waiting for these results. Not only for the inspiration nuggets they may contain, but this presented the perfect opportunity to visit his astrophysicist friend.

"Hello Raj," Sheldon said, as he entered Raj's office.

"Oh, hello Sheldon."

"Thank you for the Soudan Mine results, Kripke just dropped them off."

"No problem," Raj said.

Leaning against Raj's desk, Sheldon opened the report and began to silently browse. "Hmmm" he said after a while.

"Anything?"

"It's very exciting," he said, "but the connections are not flying yet. Although, I am a little weary today."

"Is that because of Penny?" Raj asked.

"No," said Sheldon engrossed in the report. After a while he put it down, walked over to on Raj's whiteboard. "Do you mind?" He asked.

"Go ahead." Raj said and Sheldon started to scribble symbols on the board.

"The Higgs boson," Raj said in awe.

"Indeed."

They both paused.

"So light," Raj said breaking the silence.

"Too light."

"She's upset the apple cart, that errant little flyaway."

"She has."

"Just call her Penny," Raj said casually.

Sheldon didn't respond, he was staring intently at the equation. "Our elegant supersymmetry may be obsolete," he said gently.

"Like last years top model?" Raj sighed in agreement.

"Well, it's at times like these, when great minds are called upon to question assumptions and challenge traditional theories."

"That's what I love about physics," said Raj.

"Yes, the unexpected turns."

"Like you and Penny?"

Sheldon turned and looked at him, "You keep mentioning Penny."

"No, I don't!"

Sheldon frowned.

"Well, since you brought it up," Raj said, "How is all that going?"

"Oh very well. She has accepted my courtship and I have initiated a campaign to affirm my worth. Yet, there it still the matter of my friendship with Leonard to consider," he said. "That is why I stopped by Raj, I thought you could be of assistance to me in this plight."

"Me?"

"Yes, you have a certain expertise in these matters."

"How do you mean?"

Well, you managed to maintain your friendship with Leonard even after a failed attempt to court her?"

"I-I…I"

"Raj?"

"That was different."

"Yes, you were unsuccessful," said Sheldon looking off into space.

"But-t…"

"Raj you seem off you game today. Are you sure you are well?"

Raj gathered his thoughts, "I hate to tell you this Sheldon, but you will have to let her go. If you want to save your friendship with Leonard that is."

"But I can not relinquish her."

Raj looked at him in utter disbelief "…b-but you're Sheldon Cooper."

"I am aware of that. If you could be a little more helpful…"

"… you said it yourself, you don't require human connection. You're the robot man. You're above…"

"Not anymore," said Sheldon with genuine depression.

Raj looked at him suspiciously, 'Have you been experimenting with… lanterns? How do you react to the color yellow?"

Sheldon paused, then he replied, "I'm not possessed!"

Raj moves closer, staring intently into one of Sheldon's big blue eyes. "Tell me a sad story from your childhood," he said.

"Nor am I, a Replicant," he said flatly.

"Hmmmm," said Raj, reaching over to give Sheldon's arm a little squeeze.

"I'm not an Android, Simulant, Biomechanical or Cyborg either."

"I had to check."

"Of course."

Raj walked around him staring intently. "Well then, you explain it. Leonard is your best friend and Penny is sort of... your enemy. How can this be real?"

"I can't explain it Raj."

"You're serious?" he said aghast.

"I am. It came crashing to earth like the meteor."

"What did?"

"Love."

This struck a chord in Raj, he faltered in his examination momentarily. Then not being entirely persuaded, he continued, "Prove it!"

"Very well, ask me anything."

"What if, Penny insisted that every time you have Thai food, she must have the last dumpling?"

"That would be acceptable."

"What if, Penny set you a quest on a Saturday morning and you were prevented from watching Dr Who?"

"I would concede and download it," he said.

"What if, she poured shampoo into your Iron Man Mark III helmet and you can't react?"

Sheldon's lips began to tighten. "I have the funds to purchase a new one."

"Hmmm." Raj said pacing slowly. "What if, you swore to protect her, but Godzilla attacked Pasadena and you couldn't get back to the apartment to save her."

"I would never have left the apartment without her. If there were another nuclear explosion sufficient to unleash Godzilla, I would know!"

Raj walked around his desk and sat down mulling over his next question. "What if…" he said, looking triumphant. "Penny demanded that for one of your trials, you must crawl through a filthy pond to collect pennies which she had dropped in? …deliberately."

"I'd wear a hazmat."

"You can't wear a hazmat."

"Rubber gloves?"

"No!"

Sheldon visibly flinched. "I must fulfill my pledge or surrender her forever?" he said becoming visibly distressed.

"Yes," said Raj, "and there's dirty socks in the pond!" he said raising his eyebrows.

Sheldon shot him a firm glare of determination. "Then with the utmost terror and disgust, I would put cotton wool in my ears and nose, and wade in holding my breath…"

Raj slumped back into his chair. "You wouldn't…" said Raj.

"… and my devotion would be affirmed. Only to succumb to a massive protozoan infection brought on by Cryptosporidiosis and other water-borne parasites. Perishing shortly afterwards, which would be an abhorrent blow to the future of mankind and all…"

"Sheldon stop!" he said.

Sheldon fell silent. "I don't believe you could manage that feat, but you have proved your point. You love Penny."

"I told you," he said, gloomy.

Raj looked over at his troubled face. He leaned across the desk, with his hands linked together and an excited glint in his eye. "Tell me everything," he asked brightly.

* * *

**Thanks again for all the amazing reviews. I never get tired of them and they are very helpful in assessing if the story is OC and if it works. I have tried to write these characters, as I think they would react to a Sheldon and Penny romance, if it happened on the show :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory.**


	14. Chapter 14

**This is a long one but it's kind of important, so I didn't trim it down. We are getting close to the end.**

* * *

Penny's alarm sounded and she jumped out of bed. It was Sunday morning and that meant Sheldon would be arriving in an hours' time. They were halfway through their courtship period already. It was flying by, a month and a half to go. This was going to be so easy, she thought.

After the first two weeks of 'anonymous' gifts, he had sent Bernadette to make a formal introduction and to invite her to promenade. Which she found out was a long walk, usually around a park. Sometimes she would drive them to the Huntington Botanical Gardens and they would walk around for hours. Every Sunday, he would turn up at 10am sharp. She had told her boss, she could no longer take Sunday morning shifts. He seemed a little irritated initially, but the other girls had covered her so it hadn't caused a problem.

Today, they went to the gardens again. Sheldon held out his arm, so she could hook her arm, over his. He much preferred hooking arms to holding hands, he told her.

They strolled along very slowly, falling into a natural rhythm. He always managed to find a spot, where there were very few other people and sometimes lead them to sit down on a bench, in the Australian garden.

Today he placed his hand over hers and although they didn't talk at first, he glanced over from time to time.

"You have not sent me on any quests this week," he said eventually.

"Fetching me that Black Forest cake at 3am, was a pretty demanding quest," she replied.

"There must be something additional you desire, besides diabetes?"

"Sheldon, that was sarcasm! I'm impressed."

He smiled contentedly.

"There's still the task to get our friends back, but I don't expect the impossible."

"I am fully engaged on that," he said. "…anything further?"

"I only want you," she answered with a smile.

"You have me, in principle," he said shyly.

"I have thought about it, but there's nothing. Well, nothing you can help me with anyway," she said.

He stopped, "Penny, I am adept in all forms of problem solving, including pattern recognition, abstract, lateral, and spatial reasoning. I can help with anything."

She looked into those eyes, which had become so familiar these last few weeks and sighed.

"Tell me," he urged.

"I just want a better life."

They continued to walk, as Sheldon thought on her words.

* * *

That very evening, Amy arrived at 8pm outside Penny's door. She paused to settle her nerves, took a deep breath and knocked. When Penny opened the door to see her standing there, she was visibly taken aback.

"A-Amy!" she stuttered.

"Hello Penny."

"Come in, come in," she said quickly moving aside for her.

"Thank you, I know it's been a while."

"It's great to see you," Penny said, "d-do you want a glass of wine?"

"Sure, why not."

Penny grabbed a bottle and two glasses and made her way to the couch. The two girls had not seen each other since that night. She had texted Amy, once in a while but not received a reply. Penny opened the wine. She rarely had a bottle open these days. Sheldon didn't drink and since the girls' nights stopped, she had no call for it. As she filled up their glasses, her hand was shaking slightly.

Amy took the glass and drunk the whole thing down in one. "Penny," she said, as she plonked it back down, "I've just been to see Sheldon."

"Oh!" Penny said. Her mouth went dry.

"He knows!"

"Knows?"

"About the Operations! He contacted me a few days ago, asking if I would come over tonight to discuss our friendship. He'd worked out the whole harebrained scheme."

"Amy, I'm totally lost," she Penny looking blankly.

"I've been spying on you," she said, "you and Sheldon!"

Penny's mouth fell open; she didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," Amy said.

"Ames, it's okay," she said on automatic.

"He said you'd say that."

"He was right," Penny said, smiling as she thought of Sheldon. She refilled Amy's glass.

"Sheldon was checking locations via military satellite and calculating probable pedestrian numbers, prior to departure on your Sunday walks. I told Leonard, he would figure it out eventually."

"Leonard!" said Penny sighing.

"Don't be too hard on him, he's having a hard time with this. He wants you back," Amy said.

"Oh god. It's our fault. You must want Sheldon back as well. I feel terrible knowing I hurt both of you," she said.

"I don't want Sheldon back!"

"Don't you? I-I don't understand." She gasped, "Then why were you spying on us?"

"Oh Penny, I just got carried away. No one had ever asked me to do anything that exciting and naughty before. Not since Maureen Pomeroy in elementary school told me if I released the bunnies, she'd be my friend forever."

Penny took a sip of wine. "So what did you do?"

"I released them!" she beamed, "but then the teacher called my mother and I got banned from Pet Day. Needless to say, Maureen didn't live up to her side of the bargain."

Penny gave her a smile. "So you really don't want Sheldon back?"

"Not anymore," she said. "All my life I have been waiting for the Maureen Pomeroy's of this world to accept me, to allow me access to their lives. When I met Sheldon, I thought all that was over. Yet as soon as I wanted something tangible from him, there it was again. No matter how hard I try, he will always hold something back. Even if I eventually get what I want, I will always know it was not given spontaneously. I realize now, Sheldon is an extension of that past. Another Maureen. Another yard full of escaped bunnies."

Penny smirked at the visual comparison, in spite of herself.

"Besides, he doesn't feel the same way about me, as he does about you."

"Did he say that?"

"Mostly using quantum equations, but I got the picture," she said.

Penny gave her a kindly look. "What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I've been waiting for my life to start since high school. I'm damn tired of waiting," said Amy.

Penny nodded in agreement and smiled. "Here's to," she said, raising her glass, "No more waiting!"

"And, no more chasing bunnies!" said Amy. They both took a big swig.

"You know what, Ames?"

"What?"

"You really are my bestie."

* * *

The next day, Penny was finishing a rather quiet shift when her boss said, "Penny, you've got a call."

Who would be calling me at work, she thought? She took the receiver and a rather screechy woman said, "Is that Penny?"

"Yes."

"I am calling about a medical emergency, concerning Dr Sheldon Cooper. I was told you are his new emergency contact?"

"Oh my god, is he okay?"

"He says he's has Mycotoxicoses."

"Sorry?" said Penny.

"He says, it means food poisoning, but it could just be indigestion knowing this one. He wants you to come and pick him up. What do you want me to tell him?"

"Urm," Penny thought, "Tell him, I'll be right there."

Penny told her boss the situation and drove straight over to the university to collect him. If this was one of his false alarms, she would be really angry. He couldn't just call her up like that; she wouldn't run round after him like Amy had.

When she arrived he was sitting on a fence by the gate, looking pale. She opened the car door and rushed over. "Sheldon, are you okay?" she said.

"I-I didn't want too…" he said holding a bag over his mouth.

"Come on, I'll get you home."

Penny drove him back to the apartment, as he muttered a few words here and there. He really did look bad. She helped him upstairs and towards the bedroom but he rushed away from her, into the bathroom. There was the sound of him throwing up. And a little while later, he was attempting to gargle something.

Knock, knock, "Sheldon?" Penny called out, after a few minutes of silence had past, "Can I come in?"

"No, that won't be necessary. You can go now."

Why won't he let me help him? This wasn't like Sheldon, he usually insisted on being looked after, to the point where he would drive her nuts. "I can't leave you like this, I'll make some tea." She went to the kitchen and decided on peppermint, to help settle his stomach. Also pouring a large glass of water, in case he couldn't drink the tea.

While she was filling the kettle, he exited the bathroom and staggered towards his bedroom, with bumps and knocks along the way. Penny put down the kettle and went to help, but he was already slumped on to the bed, curling up in a fetal position.

"Where are your Monday pajamas?" she asked.

"Top left," he said.

She grabbed them out of the drawer and left them on the bed. "You put those on, and I'll make that tea," she said.

"Okay."

When she returned he was in bed, looking pale and clammy. She set the drinks down and felt his forehead. It was very warm.

"This won't do…" he mumbled, "…this won't do at all."

"What won't do?"

"You being here….I'm courting you… I should be..."

"You're too sick to be courting me, sweetie."

"The hero doesn't get sick," he moaned.

"You can be the hero tomorrow," she said softly.

He muttered something inaudible.

"Shell I sing you, 'Soft Kitty?'" she asked, but he had already drifted off.

Sheldon woke a couple of hours later. He glanced about the room still feeling a little groggy. Penny wasn't there. Whatever had made him violently ill, had been expelled from his body. He felt a lot better, almost normal in fact, apart from the terrible dehydration. He sat up and reached for the glass of water she had left. Next came, the cold tea. Lying back momentarily, he did a quick calculation of everything he had eaten for lunch. Then, everything the guys ate. It had to be the mayonnaise; it was the only variance. He would report it at once. At that moment, Penny peered around the door. "Oh you're awake," she said.

"I just woke up," he said.

"Do you still feel like throwing up?"

"No," he said, "thank you for looking after me."

"That's okay sweetie, I'll run you a bath," she said, disappearing out the door before he could protest. He definitely needed a bath, or more precisely, a shower. He never took baths; he preferred to stand so he could see the dirt draining away. The taps were already running in the bathroom. "Penny!" he called out.

"Uh-huh?" she said, coming back in to his room.

"I don't take baths."

"Don't worry, I'll make it bubbly. I won't see anything," she winked and left again.

Sheldon froze. Is she going to bathe me? He felt much better now and could definitely bathe himself. He remembered Amy's deception over bathing. It was a human weakness, which he had not fully comprehended at the time. He would explain to her, he was perfectly capable of washing himself.

Penny rushed next door to find some bubble bath. 'Lavender and Jasmine' or 'Mango and Papaya'. No. There had to be something else, she found another bottle, 'Sea Minerals'. This was the one; it sounded the least feminine. Quickly returning to the other bathroom, she opened the cap and poured several large blue dollops into the running bath. The bubbles built up quickly, into a dense fluffy cloud. It was ready.

"Okay mister, this time I'm helping you, no arguments…" she said, pulling back the covers and sliding a hand around his waist, to help him up.

"But…"

"No arguments!" she said. She leaned his weight against her, as he stood up and directed him towards the bathroom. Sitting him down on the closed toilet lid.

"Now you're going to have to take off your pajamas."

He gave her a wide-eyed stare.

"It's okay, I'll turn my back. You can hold on to me, if you need to steady yourself."

She turned her back, closed her eyes and waited. There was a very long pause and then he said, "Okay," in a faint voice.

She felt an arm on her left shoulder and the faint sound of fabric. He was taking a very long time. Probably trying to fold his pajamas with one hand, she thought.

"Leave them, I'll fold them later."

"Are you peeking?"

"No, it was just a guess," she said.

Next she heard the swirling of water and his hand pressed down firmly and then released from her shoulder. "You can open your eyes," he said.

He was lying there completely immersed in bubbles, up to his bare shoulders. He looked almost elatedly. She sat down on the floor next to him. "How's the bubble bath?"

"Unexpectedly pleasant," he said. "Completely impractical for cleaning oneself however."

Penny smiled. "Sit up," she ordered. She helped him into a sitting position. Grabbing a fresh cloth from the cupboard, she then dunked it in the bath water and applied some liquid soap. He was watching every move she made with intensity. As she began to rub the cloth in circular motions, over his left shoulder, he started to laugh. This set Penny off. "Stop it, I can't do this if you're laughing," she said sweetly.

He became quieter and stopped.

"I'll just do the top half, you can do the rest," she said.

"Naturally."

"I like your shoulders," she said, in a flirtatious tone, "…and you arms."

"That's good… is it not?"

'Yes, it is."

She did like his shoulders, a lot. She liked his back, his neck, his arms.

He cupped some water into his hands and splashed it over his face and head, bubbles and all. His eyelashes went darker, sticking together with water. She liked that too. She liked his wet hair. She liked how the bathroom steam flushed his lips. She liked the way he was looking at her. Moving forward, she pressed her lips on to his wet mouth. It felt hot against hers and wonderful. She took in one long delicious kiss and sighed. Then sat back down on the floor, suddenly aware that she was inches away from a naked man.

Oh god! I'm totally taking advantage, she thought. He's sick. What am I doing? She knew what she wanted to be doing, as he looked back at her, with those big eyes.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her back pocket and she jumped out of her skin. Quickly removing it, she saw that it was Amy calling.

"Hello Amy," she said, standing up quickly and leaving the bathroom. She closed the door behind her.

"Penny, oh no… I heard, sorry…I forgot to say…Leonard texted… 'it's on'… oh dear."

"Amy, slow down. What is it?"

"Sheldon!" she said. "I forgot to tell you, I made you his new emergency contact."

"Oh that," said Penny. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

"I thought you'd be upset, I hadn't warned you."

"No, it's fine. I took him home and now I'm just giving him a bath. It's all worked out, my boss wasn't even mad."

"A bath?" Amy asked.

"Yes, he's been sick and…"

"Sheldon doesn't take baths! He says they are akin to lying in a puddle of your own filth."

"Well, he's in one now…"

"He's faking it!"

"What?"

"He's faking being sick, so you'll wash him."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I invented that little routine. Oh yes!"

"You did?" said Penny.

"Yup, he got that from me," Amy said.

"Huh."

"You'd better nip it in the bud, before he's visiting saunas and going to late night Jacuzzi parties."

Penny smiled. "Sure, will do Ames."

When she hung up the phone, she was still smiling to herself. Is he faking it? She didn't mind if he was. She went back into the bathroom to find him looking at her with a hesitant expression. "I don't want to be spanked," he said.

"What?" she said.

"Nothing."

She knelt down and picked up the cloth from the baths edge and without another word, began to foam up his back. His lovely smooth back, she loved that back, she thought. A month and a half to go! This wasn't going to be as easy as she thought.


	15. Chapter 15

That night, Leonard, Howard and Raj were watching television at the apartment. They were flicking through the channels, when Sheldon came shuffling out of the bedroom, shrouded in a blanket from head to toe, like a mummy. The fringe of his hair was disheveled and he was looking a little dazed.

"Hello Sheldon," Leonard said.

"Hello."

"How are you feeling?" Raj asked.

He peered out from his blanket, "Like I was freeze-dried, in a radiant vacuum."

"Well, look on the bright side, Sheldon. Now you can get that extra part on 'The Walking Dead' you've always wanted," Howard said.

He frowned, "They tried to poison me," he said.

"I'm sure they didn't try to poison you, Sheldon," said Leonard.

"The 'Loaded Baguette' Conspiracy," Howard joked.

"I'll have you know, I've requested a full FSIS inspection," Sheldon said giving him a look.

"So you should," Leonard said, "We're just kidding around."

Sheldon then shuffled to the kitchen, "I barely escaped with my life, if it hadn't been for Penny I hate to consider the possible outcome," he said dramatically.

"I heard she was called in, to pick you up," Leonard said casually.

Sheldon nodded, opening the fridge and looking inside.

"So, how is she coping with military conscription?" Howard asked.

Sheldon gave him another glare, "Like the amalgamation of Florence Nightingale and She-Hulk," he said defiantly.

"She-Hulk?" he chuckled.

"She practically carried me from the car," he gushed.

"Awesome," said Raj.

"So, she doesn't mind being your emergency contact then?" Leonard asked.

"Why would she? She's safeguarding the well being of a future Nobel laureate. A rare privilege indeed."

"Huh!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"You didn't call her She-Hulk though, right?" Howard said.

"No, I could barely speak," he said

"Probably for the best," Howard said.

"As Penny is blonde, may I suggest the far more flattering analogy of Florence Nightingale and Supergirl?" said Raj. "She-Hulk is the strongest female in the Marvel universe, but in DC it's Supergirl."

"Well noted," Sheldon nodded in agreement.

Just then the door opened very suddenly and the blonde Supergirl walked in with a plastic bag in her hands, "Okay Sheldon, I've got your…"

She stopped, realizing the room was no longer empty.

"Penny," Leonard said.

"Oh… Leonard… hi," she replied awkwardly.

Sheldon shuffled across towards her. She reached into the bag and pulled out three packets, reading the names out, "Omep-p-prazo-o-ole antacid, Aleve pain relief, and Vermont Energy supplement. If they are the wrong ones, don't grumble," she warned, putting them back into the bag. "…and here's your change."

"Thank you, Penny."

"Do you need anything else?"

He shook his head.

"Okay, well I'll be off," she said, flashing a look at the others.

"Don't forget, this Friday," he said with a little smirk. Penny smiled uneasily, she said a quick goodbye and then she was gone.

Sheldon made his way to the counter and began looking over the medicine packaging, squinting at the fine print. The guys continued to watch him in silence.

"What's happening on Friday?" Raj asked finally, the question they were all thinking.

"Oh," said Sheldon smiling, "It's our first official date."

Raj smiled, "Ooh where are you going? If you need a restaurant suggestion, I would recomm…" Leonard and Howard were staring, so he trailed off.

"You're going out on Friday? It's Chinese night and the guys are coming around to watch Iron Man," said Leonard.

"Darn it!" said Sheldon, "I do like Iron Man."

Leonard smiled "…and we're having Chinese!"

"I will be having Chinese too. We're going to Szechuan Palace. Mr Chen is reserving his best table," he said, "I hope they haven't changed their menu again," he added, with a worried look. He put the kettle on the boil and popped to his room, taking his medicines with him.

"Well that was weird," said Howard, as he disappeared.

"Hmm," said Leonard thinking, "You don't think she'll actually sign that agreement. Do you?"

"No way." Howard said.

"Love works in mysterious ways, dude," said Raj.

"That's God!" Howard groaned, "…and come on, that's not mysterious. That's down right peculiar."

"Well, it's just something Amy said the other day. She's moving on and she said, maybe I should do the same," he said.

"Are you still dating Amy?" Howard asked Raj.

"Sure, from time to time. Did you know, when she was in the sixth grade, a kid stuck her in a dumpster. I had the exact same thing happen to me. It's uncanny." He said grinning wildly.

"No, I didn't know that," said Leonard, with a frustrated tone in his voice.

"Easy Leonard," said Howard, "just because Amy has fallen for our own caramel Vishnu. That doesn't mean Penny is going to fall for Sheldon. She's probably just trying to help, you know what she's like."

"That's true, but I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this. I can accept her driving him home when he's sick, but they have an actual date. Why would she agree to that?"

"You got me stumped," he said.

"Did you know the God Kamadeva, was ordered to spread love in the world by shooting his flower-arrows? Maybe Penny was hit by one of those," said Raj.

Howard looked at him, as though he were insane. "What's up with everyone? This is Sheldon we're talking about. He's practically a eunuch."

"How do you mean everyone?" said Leonard.

"The other day I told Bernadette I thought the whole thing between Sheldon and Penny was nuts because they were too different and she snapped my head off," he said. "WE'RE different, do you think that's nuts as well?" he said, putting on his best Bernadette impression.

"Wow," said Leonard, "That is strange."

The kettle whistled and Sheldon came scuttering out of the bedroom. The guys sat watching him again, not speaking. There was a hush in the air.

* * *

The week crawled by, but finally; it was date night. Her date night! with Sheldon Cooper. She'd heard many reports back from Amy over the years, but she never imagined she would be going on one herself. Or, that she would be looking forward to it so much.

She thought back to the night Sheldon had locked himself out of the apartment. If she had not jumped into that bed with him, she would never have learned of his secret desires. She would still be with Leonard. Dragging her feet and wondering what that nagging feeling was, deep inside and why she felt so incomplete. She hadn't felt incomplete these last few weeks. She felt exhilarated, hopeful and strong.

It took sometime to decide what to wear. Something sexy, but not too tight, she thought. Sheldon didn't respond to flesh on display, like Leonard had. Nevertheless it had to be low cut. This time, she wanted him to look; she wanted him to want her. The memory of his bath fluttered through her mind like a soft breeze, setting off butterflies in her belly. She took in her reflection. A peach dress, with little scraps, that fell to her knees. Perfect.

"To battle," she said.

"Knock, knock, knock "Penny"

"Knock, knock, knock "Penny"

"Knock, knock, knock "Penny"

She had been waiting for that sound. Taking a second to prepare, she breathed in, rose from the couch and slowly went for the door.

"Hello Sheldon."

"Hello… Penny," he said.

He was wearing his black suit. The one she had picked out for him and he looked dashing. In his left hand was a briefcase.

"What's the case for?" she asked.

"A surprise," he said, "We have much to discuss."

"Oh, how intriguing," she said, with a broad smile.

He offered his arm and they made their way down the stairs on their first date.


	16. Chapter 16

They arrived at Szechuan Palace, at 8pm sharp. The proprietor, Mr. Chen, was standing by the entrance greeting customers. When he saw Sheldon approaching, in a smart suit, with a beautiful blonde woman on his arm, his face twisted in startled disbelief. "Evening, I believe you have my reservation," Sheldon said.

Mr. Chen didn't reply, he simply motioned for them to follow him inside. Sheldon had reserved the quietest table, in the corner. He pulled out a chair for Penny and she sat down. "Thanks Shelly," she said, affectionately.

Mr. Chen muttered something in Mandarin and placed down the menus.

"Sorry?" Sheldon asked.

"Can I bring you drinks?" he said, removing the 'reserved' sign from the centre of their table.

"White wine for me please," Penny said.

"Okay… and the usual for you, Sir?"

"Yes, thank you."

Penny picked up the menu and began to browse through it. She could feel Sheldon's eyes wandering over her. "Don't you want to choose something," she said.

"I know what I want."

"Of course you do," she said, her lips curling into a smile.

Mr. Chen arrived a few minutes later with a tray. He placed down the glass of wine and a pot of jasmine tea. "Are you ready?" he said, in an abrupt manner.

"We'll just have the usual," Penny said, looking up at Sheldon, who seemed very satisfied with that response.

Mr. Chen shot her an indignant look. "Pff!" he huffed and glided away.

"You know…" she said, "I was thinking earlier, that if Leonard hadn't gone to that symposium. And if you hadn't locked yourself out of the apartment. AND, if I hadn't insisted on us sharing the bed, we wouldn't be here together now."

"Yes, it's a paradigm of causality," he said.

"But don't you think it's amazing?" she said, "We would never have known we were in love." Her green eyes were gleamed brightly.

"It is,' he said, "…and it's no longer necessary for me to cross a hyperspace universe."

Penny looked a little mystified. "You wanted to cross a universe?"

"I often hypothesized that you and I, might be separated from one other, by a single quantum event."

"I don't know what that means, but it sounds romantic," she said, raising her hand to her heart.

"It means, that there was an alternative reality, in which, we could be together."

"You thought about us being together in another reality?" she asked, tenderly.

"Frequently."

Penny thought for a moment. "Do you think there's a universe out there, where we still don't know?"

"Of course." _ (the show - authors joke :p)_

"That's really sad," she said.

"I suppose it is," he said thinking.

Mr. Chen arrived at the table with a very large tray and set down five plates, in front of them. He waited with his arms crossed, as Sheldon picked up his fork and tried a very small mouthful of each. He nodded and put the fork back down. Mr. Chen huffed once more and stomped off.

"He's a charmer!" Penny said. Sheldon wasn't sure what she meant, so he just stuck his fork in a dumpling and began.

She looked at the five plates in front of them. There was a chicken dish, another with beef, a shrimp one, vegetables and dumplings. "This is a lot of food Sheldon, we'll never get through all this."

"This is the usual order."

"You mean, the usual order, when the four of you boys come here together?"

"Yes."

She laughed. "You should have told me, we could have ordered half of this."

"He won't do reductions. I won't do eliminations. Logistically, this is simpler. Besides, I liked that you asked for the usual," he said.

Penny smiled, "I might have to take half of this home with me," she said.

She started on the chicken first. The food was great, even though she had sampled it many times at their apartment. It just seemed much nicer, with a wonderfully dressed Sheldon Cooper sitting opposite her. She took a sip of her wine and watched him delicately choosing the perfect mouthful, his eyes darting around the plates. He looked up suddenly, sensing that he was being observed. "God he's gorgeous," she thought, as the intensity of his eyes overpowered her. Why hadn't I see this before? I must have spent the last six years walking around in a coma.

"Sheldon, why do you think we argued so much over the years?" she asked.

"We didn't argue."

She laughed, "Very funny! You picked at everything."

"I was simply stating facts," he said, "…and you frustrated me. You still do."

"I still do?" she said, flashing him a cheeky look.

"Yes, you're highly illogical, woefully apathetic, obtuse and overly sentimental. It was frustratingly inconceivable, that I might feel…"

He stopped.

"That you might feel…?"

He looked up at her, "A human weakness."

"Such as…?" she asked, teasingly.

His eyes dropped shyly, "Unspeakable burning impulses, a crippling and inescapable affliction."

"You make it sound like a disease."

"I thought it was."

"And now what do you think?"

"That you have consumed me, and now I must do the same to you." He stared at her with a steeled determination. It sent a sudden warm flush, to her skin. The full extent of his exploratory genius had pinpointed its focus and was boring into her soul. For the first time, she saw the raw power behind those eyes, that endless mind coursing towards her. She felt her body tingle with desire. She wanted to be consumed. "Wow…" she simply said, feeling herself blush.

"So, what's in the briefcase?" she asked, desperate for a distraction.

"Oh yes," he said, "Several documents for you to look over, at your leisure."

"Oh, more reading?" she said.

"Yes."

He picked up the case and turned slightly to the right, so he could rest it on his knee. Clicking the locks open, he drew out a familiar looking bound booklet and held it up. It was entitled, 'Coitus and other related activities.'

Penny's eyes widened. "Sheldon put that down!" she whispered, looking around and hoping that no one else had read the bold writing emblazoned across the front.

He gave her a confused look and handed the document across the table.

"What is this for?" she asked.

"It's a list of questions, outlining your erotic requirements."

"My…" he jaw dropped.

"Most require a simple yes or no answer, although some call for further explanation."

"Sheldon!" she said, trying to keep her voice down, "…we don't do things like this."

"Well… how do we do things?"

"We just go with the flow. Leave things to the imagination."

He looked at her, as if he had been slapped. "Penny, I'm a scientist. I do not leave things to the imagination."

"Sweetie, you know this is not a test, right?"

"Well, taking into account the conduct of my peers, I believe it is."

"That's just guy talk. They like to show off to each other. Why don't you do… research… ," she said, quietly.

"Oh I have," he said, gleefully. He clasped his hands together and leaned across the table, whispering, "In atomic physics, the excitation by photon collision with atomic particles, is concerned with the observation of a single atom."

"Not that kind of research!" she hissed.

"What other kind is there?"

Penny just stared at him, "The internet?" she said quietly.

He shook his head, "Penny, Penny, Penny, my hypothesis is sound. Why appraise thousands of unrelated opinions, it is far more prudent to go to the source," he said, gesturing towards the document, "Not unlike atomic physics."

"Oh…' she said.

"So will you complete it?"

"Okay, sure," she said, turning the document face down on the table.

He relaxed and returned to picking away at this food happily. She watched him for a few seconds again. She had to admit; she was more than a little curious about what was in that document. Especially after the way he had just looked at her. Sex was something they had not discussed. What was going on in that whirring brain of his?

"You said there were several documents?"

"Oh yes," he said cheerfully, "I have been working on your 'better life' quest."

"That wasn't a quest, Sheldon. Don't worry about that," she laughed.

"Oh, okay," he said, and poured some jasmine tea into his cup.

Penny paused to think, "Let me see anyway."

He glanced up, smiled and put down his fork. Reaching into his briefcase once more, he brought out a larger stack of pages, "The first component I looked at, was a more fulfilling vocation," he said clicking the briefcase shut.

"Wow, you mean there's a life after waitressing?"

"Yes well, the most obvious solution would be to move up the corporate ladder. Take on a supervisory role, then move into management," he said, handing her a set of pages stapled together.

"Waitressing has a corporate ladder," she laughed, taking the pages from him.

"A managerial course could be completed in the evenings," he said, "Then there's a business plan. You have an interest in shopping, so why not sell the products you like to buy," he said handing her another set.

"Oh…" she said, taking it from him.

"You also expressed a desire to teach. The minimum requirement for a career as a drama teacher, is the completion of a 4-year degree program."

"Four year!" she said.

"Yes, if that is your desire."

"Hang on, hang on…" she said, "how am I supposed to afford a four year break?"

"Well, I'd expect you to marry me, of course."

Penny dropped her fork. It landed with a loud clunk on her plate and the entire room went quiet. She stared back at him, blankly. Did he just ask her to marry him? No. He hadn't asked her, he'd implied. Or would he call that a suggestion? Oh damn! Leonard had asked several times and her immediate reaction was to back off. But this? She wasn't even sure what had just happened.

The conversation around them resumed, and he continued, "I've taken the liberty to obtain the prospectus's from several viable schools within the area. Pasadena City College, offer a splendid bachelor's degree in Theater Arts, which would advance you towards a teaching career. Assuming you would want to work, of course. My mother never did. Although, I must insist on a limit to exorbitant footwear acquisitions."

Oh… My… God, he had!

"Sheldon, please… I can't take all this in."

He stopped abruptly and slowly gathered up the documents from the table. She watched as he carefully placed everything back into the briefcase and clicked it shut. He then smoothed a hand across the front of his hair, even though it was not out of place.

"More wine?" Mr. Chen, had appeared from thin air.

"Yes! … and a glass for the gentleman."

"Penny I don't…"

"I think we both need it."

Mr. Chen brought over another glass. Sheldon picked it up and sipped, taking the tiniest of mouthfuls. When he set it down, she stretched across the table and took his slender hands in hers, "Sheldon, this is all so wonderful" she said, "I'm so touched that you would do all this for me."

"I want you to be happy."

"I am."

She was struck by a sudden truth. One day she was going to give up waitressing. It didn't matter when. He would be there. Whatever she wanted to do, he would be there. Her days had been an endless treadmill, going nowhere. She'd been waiting for her life to start, just like Amy. She remembered the advice she had given her that day. No more waiting! Even though she knew he wasn't fond of hand holding, she squeezed his hands lightly, and said, "I love you so much, Sheldon."

"I love you too," he said softly, "but why are you crying?"

"I'm happy," she said, "and I want to sign the Relationship Agreement now."

"You want to move the date forward?"

"Yes."

"But, we have not completed our courtship. I have yet to serenade you, or battle to protect your honor."

"You can still do all that."

"You want coitus now?"

"No."

"You don't?"

"I mean yes eventually, but this is not about … coitus."

"Oh!"

"This is about you and I, walking into that apartment amongst all our friends and showing everyone, we are a couple. We're together now. No more holding back."

"And Leonard?"

"I'll deal with him."

Not long after, they returned to the apartment building. As they came up the stairs, they heard voices emanating from 4a. Everyone was there. Penny turned to Sheldon and put her arms around his waist. "Now, I'm going to go back to my apartment to fill in your questionnaire. I will drop it by later. Then tomorrow, we sign the Relationship Agreement. Deal?"

"Deal," he said. He then leant down and kissed her. To her surprise, the tip of his tongue brushed against hers for the very first time. She did the same and their kiss began to intensify, sending a charge of electricity through her body.

"That was nice," she said, when they finally parted, "…that was new."

"I'm going with the flow," he said, a little awkwardly.

"Is that so?" she said beaming at him.

She watched, as he removed everything from his briefcase and handed it to her. "I'll see you very soon," she said, taking the documents.

Penny rushed into her apartment, leaving the door ajar. She dropped everything on the coffee table, opened the questionnaire and began to read. She was snickering to herself, when she saw a shape at the open door.

"Sheldon?"

It was Leonard. "It's true, isn't it?" he said.

She looked back at him without answering. Lowering the pen slowly, she placed it down.

"You're in love with Sheldon."

"Yes, it's true."

"He's just come home looking like the cat that's got the cream, at any rate."

"And you guessed."

"I'd already figured it out."

"Oh..."

"Everyone's been trying to tell me. Raj was going on and on, about the rites of courtship and suitable quests. Bernadette has been comparing supersymmetry, to human emotion. And Amy's has been talking, for the last half hour, about someone called, Maureen Pomeroy?"

"Ahh… and Howard?"

"He just looks like he's been hit by a stun gun."

"I'm so sorry," she said.

"I don't understand it, but what can I say?"

"I know it's been hard for everyone to take in."

"Why him?"

"He's what I need."

Leonard sighed and stared at the floor for a minute, "Well, as I said, I don't get. I might never get it. But it's your life and I have no choice but to accept it," he said.

"Thank you," she said.

He pursed his lips, then turned and walked back to 4a.

Penny sat there, staring into space. Her heart was beating like a drum. It was done.


	17. Chapter 17

A little while after Leonard had gone, Penny stood up and gently closed the door. It suddenly felt very quiet. She hoped someday, that he would realize what she had. They just weren't right together. He'd tried too hard to please her and she knew, she didn't always see his true feelings. Which meant something was missing. Something vital, that would have made them equals. At times, he'd been so deprecating, she had found it unattractive. At other times, he'd shown no faith in her. But it hadn't been all bad. Leonard was a lovely, generous man and when everything was balanced between them, he'd made a good boyfriend. Yet, this issue always returned to blight them and she found herself holding back. It continued this way, for far too long. He is a clever guy, on some level he must have known.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she picking up the pen once more and set to work. It took over an hour to complete, there were a lot of questions. Initially, she felt hesitant but very soon the answers were pouring out. Sheldon was factual; he would see this as information only and that reassured her. There was no fragile ego, on the receiving end of her honest replies.

Oddly enough, it began to feel as if he were there. And they were discussing it together. She could picture him in a white lab coat with a clipboard, nodding politely, as she revealed her most secret desires. He would make the occasion note and gaze intently, as though he were at a lecture. Only, behind his eyes, a little fire flickered.

When the final question had been answered, she slipped the questionnaire into an envelope and sealed it shut. Tucking it tightly against her, she ventured over to the other apartment. The living room was buzzing with the sound of explosions and crashing, emanating from the TV. Howard and Bernadette were on the couch watching, while Raj and Amy buzzed around the kitchen.

"Hi guys."

"Hi," they all said in turn. Howard turned the sound down a little.

"Um, is Sheldon…?"

"Yes," said Bernadette, "… but he's talking to Leonard, in Leonard's bedroom."

"Oh…" she said, clutching the envelope tighter.

"They may be in there for days," Amy said, placing a set of plates on the counter.

"Days?"

"Yes, Sheldon has a compulsive need for closure," she said.

"Hmm… he does," she said, wondering if she should come back later.

"Do you want to stay for chocolate mousse?" Raj asked.

"Raj made it," Amy said excitedly, "It's divine!"

"It's my own recipe," he said, blushing at Amy's praise.

"Thanks guys," said Penny, "but I can't stay…"

"What's that?" Amy asked, spotting the envelope under Penny's arm.

"Something for Sheldon, b-but I can give it to him tomorrow."

"Is it your Relationship Agreement?" Raj asked, in an excited flurry.

"No, it's… something else. A legal thing, not important."

"I can give it to him, if you like," Bernadette said.

"Um, okay thanks," she said.

She would have loved to stay for the mousse, but it wasn't the right time. So she made her excuses and left. As soon as the door closed, she texted Sheldon, "Bernadette has the questionnaire. Get it from her asap and don't let anymore else read it!"

She sent another, as she crossed the hall, "Lock it up somewhere safe!"

Then one more, "Scratch that, memorize it and destroy it!"

"Understood," came his reply.

* * *

The following morning, Howard and Bernadette were up early, at their apartment. They were in the bedroom and Howard was quickly packing clothes into a case on the bed.

"Do you really have to go?" Bernadette asked.

"Yes, he's my friend and he needs me. I'm sorry," Howard said.

"I get that, I'm just going to miss you. A week is a long time."

"I know. I'll miss you too."

"I don't see why it's just you. Why isn't Raj going?"

"Well, you know Raj," he said, "He's thinks Sheldon and Penny are star-crossed lovers. He means well, but that's not what Leonard wants to hear right now."

"I suppose not."

"The hardest thing is, I hardly know what to tell him myself."

"I get that."

"Oh, and I'm not going to be the only one. Kripke has invited himself along on the final night. I have no idea why. He said something about Sheldon letting him down. That Leonard had to take over as wingman. I think I'll come home a day early and leave them to it."

"I'd like that, if you could," she said.

"Strange though, Sheldon is no wingman."

Bernadette shook her head, and smiled.

"It was always Leonard! He was the one who was good with the ladies. Not that he ever knew it."

"He probably needs reminding of that," said Bernadette.

"I'll do my best."

"It still baffles me, you know."

"What does?"

"Sheldon and Penny," he said, "I've known that human computer a long time, and he never struck me as a match for any woman. He got close with Amy but that's like saying the earth is close to the sun, at 150 million kilometers."

"I know, Amy and Sheldon have a relationship of the mind, they are still very close. I think they always will be," said Bernadette.

"I just don't get why Penny would go there. How can she think, that he is the one?"

"He's certainly proving to be."

"Really?"

"Well, from what I saw, Amy attempted to change Sheldon. Only subtly, but change him nevertheless. Things are now reversed. It's Sheldon who is changing Penny."

"Huh!" he said, looking confused.

"Haven't you noticed? She's hardly drinking, she's suddenly punctual and her outlook is almost …well, ambitious. This controlled existence he leads, has a positive effect on her. Even if she would never succumb to the most extreme of it."

"Well I'll be damned!"

"Could be the human computer is good for something after all," she said smiling.

"But what common ground do they have?"

"Very little, but for some inexplicable reason, they need each other."

"Like a virus needs a vaccine!" he sniggered.

"Oh Howie!"

"Sorry."

"The way I see it, Sheldon makes connections that Penny would never think of herself and she offers him exactly the same benefit. It works for them. Also, he will never change that much, so he will always need her."

"Well, those are the only connections she'll get," he said cheekily, "He's not the passionate type."

"No, I suppose he's not," she Bernadette.

Howard wrapped his arms around Bernadette's waist. "Well, speaking of passionate, I will definitely try to come back a day early. But I'd better be going now, my buddy is going to need all the support he can get."

She smiled. "You're a good friend, Mr. Howard Wolowitz," she said.

* * *

Later, that evening.

Knock, knock, knock "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock "Penny."

As soon as the door flew open, Penny pounced; she threw her arms around his neck and planted a big kiss firmly on his lips. He was a little startled and wobbled back slightly.

"So it's time to sign at last!" she said, beaming happily.

"Um no…" he said, looking a little unsettled, "I'm afraid not."

"But why…?" she grumbled.

"Leonard has gone away. We can not sign, until he has returned. I must complete my final task."

"Sheldon no…" she said, "What did he say last night?"

"He said, that he required a period elsewhere, to 'get a handle on' things. We must wait."

Penny dropped her arms. "But another week?"

"Yes, he is my friend."

"I know… but I'm scared."

"Why?"

"I'm scared that I will lose you, that something will go wrong. That now I have finally found the missing piece to my life; it will be taken away from me. That you will be," she cried, flopping herself down on the couch.

"Where will I be taken too?" he said.

"I don't know… somewhere else."

"Can you describe it?"

"Sheldon! I mean… that you will change your mind."

"I rarely change my mind."

"You might."

He looked at her with an inquisitive expression. "Are we arguing? I predicted a 23.5% probability for conflict. Is this it?"

"No… I'm just feeling…" She looked up at him, "Stay here tonight, with me." She suddenly felt so small with his towering frame standing over her. "I suppose it's not allowed," she said, solemnly.

"It is allowed."

"Really?" she said, reaching up and pulling him down to a crouching position.

"During courtship, couples were encouraged to lie together to cement their bond. There would be a board placed between them, or the girls' legs would be bound together to prevent coitus. They were expected to converse and grow acquainted with each other."

"I'm not binding my legs," she said, "but I want you here."

He nodded.

"Okay, go and get changed into your pajamas and I'll get everything ready," she said.

"Very well." He left immediately.

Penny had been looking forward to signing the agreement, so she felt very disappointed. But having him lying next to her would make such a difference. She changed into her bed wear in a flash. Then pulled back the bed covers and looked around the room. There were no boards or anything similar immediately handy. So she grabbed a selection of Care Bears, and piled them down the centre of the bed.

"They're Care bears," she heard a voice say. He was standing at the door, with a smart pair of brown pajamas on.

"They will have to do."

"Hmmm… okay."

Penny pulled the covers up, over the Care Bear divider and Sheldon went for the light.

Click.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she slipped into the right side of the bed. She could hear him finding his way towards the left side. The bed moved as he climbed in and then there was silence. They both lay on their backs, staring up into the darkness.

"Sheldon?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"You're back in my bed."

"Obviously, but why are we whispering?"

"I don't know. It just seems like the right thing to do."

"I agree," he said.

"Did you read my questionnaire?"

"Yes."

"Did you destroy it?"

"Yes, first it was shredded, then burnt and then submerged. No imprint can be recovered via forensics or reflected photography."

She laughed, "Fabulous job."

"Penny? …why do you own so many Care Bears?"

She let out a long sigh, "Well, I brought one, every time some loser let me down and I've been let down a lot. I suppose they are my 'broken heart' bears."

There was a pause.

"Why did you choose them to separate us?"

"Good question?"

"Undoubtedly."

"I don't know…," she thought, "I guess I do that. I let my past, separate me from people."

"Me too."

"Really?"

"When one is exceptionally advanced, there is little option except to separate oneself from lesser peers, but…"

"You never stopped doing it?"

"No," he said, so quietly she almost didn't hear.

"I'm going to get rid of them," she said adamantly.

"The Berlin bears must fall," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"We will have no wall between us."

"Won't we?"

He didn't reply.

"Sheldon, what are your expectations, once we've signed the agreement?" she asked.

"Once the courtship is complete, I will be permitted to possess you."

"Yes, you will be completely permitted," she said, smiling into the dark, "…but…?"

"I sense you are trying to ask me something, but I'm not sure what."

"Well, I know you have been following this courtship thing to the letter, but I would never pressure you to do anything that …you weren't ready for."

"Oh, but you must."

"What…?"

"When I embarked on my pursuit, I risked the friendship of my best friend, my living arrangements and terminated my current relationship. Don't you think I would have examined all possible angles?"

"But sweetie, you don't like germs. Or being touched that much."

"This is true, there are difficulties. I put my trust in pure intellect for so long, I never expected my biology to deceive me like this."

"Deceive you how?"

"It seems that, in spite of my aversions, it has chosen you as my mate."

"It?"

"The bestial aspect of my being."

"Sheldon, it's a part of you. It's a part of all of us."

"Well, we are only just becoming acquainted. This aspect and I. It was always there but never primary to my existence and never did it have an impetus towards another human being."

"When did that change?"

"It was the week before the symposium. I was up making French toast. You were making coffee for Leonard, but I was paying little attention to either of you."

"Oh yes, you were daydreaming over your toast."

"I was not daydreaming Penny! I was mulling over the detection of positrons at the International Space Station."

"Staring at toast?"

"Yes… no! I was envisioning the patterns, as dark matter and Leonard mentioned the Supersymmery symposium and I suddenly made a connection. Then… you knocked me…"

"Oh, I just brushed past you… and then you blamed me, because you burnt your toast! I remember!" she laughed.

"Well. it was then."

"What was?"

"The moment."

"_That_ was the moment you realized you had a deal?"

"If you like. I was hypothesizing the possible values of magnetism's. One for the proton and one for the antiproton, the antimatter "twins" of electrons and you touched me."

"And you had a… physical feeling?"

"Yes, an earthly reaction to a magnetism equation. I felt a charge."

"Oh, that's kind of cute."

"Cute?"

"Yes, very cute."

"I did not find it _cute_ in the slightest. I lost concentration, burnt my toast and the magnetism problem persisted. To top it off, I completely forgot my breakthrough. Me! Sheldon Cooper. I do not forget equations! It was the most disconcerting thing, that has ever happened to me. Even worse than, when they cancelled Firefly."

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie."

"I saw my physician but he wouldn't take me seriously."

"You didn't?"

"Yes, he was most unhelpful. He suggested I acquire a girlfriend. When I informed him, I already had a girlfriend, he said, I had 'no problem at all then'. The medical profession has gone downhill, it really has."

"Just terrible!"

"I know."

"Don't worry, Sheldon, your _magnetism_ is in safe hands," she said.

"Oh, I have little doubt of that. It's my intellect I'm concerned for."

"Your intellect will be perfectly fine, trust me?"

"I hope so. Now, I can no longer suppress my urges, I see no alternative but to act on them. I hope that by doing so, some reminisce of normality will return. Attraction is extremely deliberating, I have no idea how you people function."

"Welcome to the other side, sweetie."

"Well then, it is agreed. You must compel me."

"I'll give it my best shot," she said.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning when Penny woke up, two clear blue eyes greeted her. "Good morning, sweetie," she said.

"Morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"Not well," he said.

"Oh poor baby," she said, arching in to a stretch.

"I am unaccustomed to sleeping in close proximity to another person," he said, "additionally, the bears did not prove a durable barrier. They had a tendency to travel and I was forced to make several late night adjustments."

"Well, the bears will have to go," she said, "…and you must sleep here regularly, to get used to it."

"Agreed," he said, "I will stop by the Comic book store today. I believe Stuart has some packing foam which, once properly santitized will serve us better."

She reached over and stroked his hair, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Are you?"

"Yes, we are finally getting somewhere."

"We are almost there," he said, with a little smirk.

That day, Penny took her Care Bears to the charity bin. She kissed each one, as they parted company for good. "I don't need you anymore, I have a new Care Bear," she said, as she watched the last smiling toy disappear in to the bin.

Sheldon visited the comic book store that day and brought back some foam, to construct a soft barrier. On the second night, he still had difficulty sleeping. By the third, he was very tired but insisted on the sheets being changed, before they turned in. Penny took out some clean ones and was about to make up the bed. "They must also be ironed," he said.

"Sheldon, who irons sheets?"

"Anyone who wishes to eliminate bacteria. Also, I noticed that you do not put double pillowcases on your pillows," he said.

"Two pillow cases?" she said, giving him a derisive look.

"Yes, and also ironed."

"Well, if you want them ironed, honey. You'll have do it yourself," she said.

"Very well!" he said. He marched to her cupboard and took out the ironing board and plugged in the iron. As he worked away, he gave her a detailed description of how her bathroom cleaning was inadequate and must be updated with a new routine. "Thorough cleansing twice a week, with a mild solution of bleach, is a minimum requirement," he said.

"You'll have to do that, too!" she said, her arms crossed in defiance.

"Now Penny, it's only fair we share these duties," he said.

"Sheldon, they're not _my_ duties, they're yours."

"I can't wait for you to sign the document, then you have to do things the right way," he huffed.

"Don't count on it, sweetie."

He let out a little yawn. His eyes were heavy with rings, from lack of sleep and she suddenly felt guilty, as she looked at his exhausted face.

"Oh, give it here," she said, taking the iron from him and finishing what he had started. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited looking very sleepy.

"Perhaps we should attempt to argue every evening," he said, "I'm very tired now."

Penny shook her head and smiled.

Once the sheets were done and the bed made, he drifted off almost instantly. She knew he was sleeping because she could just make out his slow breaths. This time she couldn't sleep. Leonard was due back the next day and she was worried. What if he wouldn't talk to Sheldon? What if this final task wasn't possible?

She looked over at the dark shadow, on the pillow next to her and wanted to reach out and touch him. The memory of his body crushed up against her, on that first night invaded her thoughts. She wanted him to do that again. She wanted to cross the foam barrier and run her hands over his warm flesh.

Instead, she did nothing. Sheldon had taken a huge step; he was in her bed, willingly. The courtship had to be completed. This was something that had to be done his way. Whatever happened tomorrow, was out of her hands.

* * *

"Okay, everyone pay attention," Sheldon announced, standing in front of his whiteboard. "Although Leonard, has not made it back yet, 'The Mystic Warlord of Ka'a', new expansion pack night, will go ahead as planned."

It was 7pm Saturday evening and there had been no sign of Leonard all day. Penny felt her stomach turning over. Where was he? When would he get back? She needed a drink.

"You're packs are in front of you and I have listed the game play instructions, hence…" Sheldon continued, pointing at the whiteboard.

"Anyone want a drink?" Penny interrupted.

"Ooh, I'll have something," Amy replied.

"Now, now, Ladies, the proceedings are about to commence. There is no time for dallying over beverages."

"Sheldon, I'm getting beer!" Penny said, making her way to the fridge.

"Err Penny…" he said, "…just because we are dating now, does not afford you extra privileges within the group, you will have to abide by the same rules as..."

She smiled, "Shut up, sweetie!"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, sitting down.

"How'd she do that?! Howard said, stunned. "Tell me how you did that?"

"Practice," said Penny.

"Well in that case, I'll have a beer as well," he said, with a wide grin.

Sheldon looked a little perturbed, at the disruption. He decided to ignore them and unpack the game cards, while they asked for their various drinks.

"Raj likes orange fizz," said Amy.

"But I'll have whatever Amy's having," he said, giving her a little wink.

"Those two are _so_ cute," said Bernadette, leaning in to whisper to Howard.

"Who'd have thought," said Howard.

Penny placed the tray on the table. "Waitressing on your day off?" Amy joked.

"Well, make the most of it because I won't be waitressing much longer," she said.

"Really, what are you going to do instead?" Bernadette asked.

Sheldon suddenly stopped what he was doing and met her gaze. "I thought I might become a teacher," she said, smiling back at him. He smiled shyly in recognition and went back to unpacking the cards.

At that moment, the door flew open and Leonard, Stuart and Kripke appeared.

"Hello losews!" Kripke shouted.

"Hi guys," Stuart said.

Everyone replied in turn.

"Welcome back Leonard," said Howard.

"Hi everyone," Leonard said. He looked tired, tanned and had a few days stubble.

Kripke dropped a bag on the floor.

"Thanks for carrying my case up the stairs," Leonard said.

"No pwoblem."

"That was a great night, huh? You sure you don't want to join us at the Comic Book Store for another drink?" said Stuart.

"No thanks, no more for me tonight."

"Okay, but see you next Satuwday, wight?" Kripke said.

"Sure thing," he said, "bye guys."

Kripke and Stuart said their goodbyes and then left. Leonard then picked up his bags and took them to his room.

The room went silent.

Sheldon stood up. "The knight has been called," he said, following Leonard to his room.

"Do you think we should stop him?" Bernadette asked.

"I don't think we can," said Penny quietly, as she watched him disappear from view.

They others were waiting in silence, barely breathing. They heard Sheldon trademark three knocks, the door open and then nothing.

"Do you think..? Raj started.

"Shhhh!" said Penny.

"But…"

"Shhhh!"

* * *

Sheldon closed the door and took a deep breath, "You know why I'm here," he said.

"Sheldon, you don't have to say anything," he said.

"But I do. You are my best friend and I owe you everything."

"Okay, lets get it over with," he said, sitting on the bed.

"As you know, Penny and I are in love."

"So I hear."

"And although your suffering causes me great distress, I want you to know, that I am committed to completing my courtship."

"I thought you might be."

"If you wish us to duel, I will gratefully accept."

"Sheldon, we're not going to duel."

"I need to fix this, Leonard," he said, putting his head in his hands, "...just tell me what I can do."

"You can't, fixing this, is up to me."

"I don't understand."

"Amy was right. Penny is not right for me. No more than Amy, was right for you."

"Did you do the math?" he said.

"I guess I did," he sighed, "I've spent so long chasing her, I forgot why I was doing it in the first place. I don't love her, I was just obsessed by the idea that she could love me."

"Obsessed? I understand that."

"I was stuck in a loop."

"Hmm, just like my fusion reaction work with Kripke," he said, shaking his head in dismay.

"Yeah, just like that."

"So, you are not adverse to me pursuing her further."

"Well, I'd be lying, if I said it was going to be easy. But I'd also be lying, if I didn't admit that things were wrong between us. It was moving way too slowly and there was a nagging doubt."

"What kind of doubt?"

"That she was waiting for someone else."

Sheldon dropped his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are. This week I've done a lot of thinking and have decided that I need someone who likes me, as I am. Secretly, I always knew this wasn't Penny. We had too many misunderstandings."

"Hmm, now that's my job."

Leonard smirked, "It is."

"I look forward to it," he said.

Leonard shook his head, "You're an oddball, Sheldon."

"Perhaps, but consider this. If you could discern what most people are going to think, do or say, before they did it, life would be rather dull, right? Even with Amy, I knew how her intellectual brain functioned. But Penny…"

"She's a little chaotic!"

"Yes, isn't is wonderful?"

"Do you remember that very first day when we saw her across the hall?"

"I do."

"I thought she was an impossible dream."

"I thought she was best avoided!"

Leonard managed a smile, "Well, it's not high school anymore."

"Lucky for us, or we would be settling this via chinese burns," said Sheldon.

"One thing, that is still confusing me, where did this sudden interest in Penny come from?"

"Oh, let me start from the beginning, I was up making french toast...

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and the others heard Leonard's voice emerge from his room. "So you think the symposium, was the singular quantum event?"

"Absolutely, because particle configurations by their mirror images, run everything backward in time…"

"Huh-huh."

"…and when I realized the equation was a spacetime symmetry, there was only one possible explanation."

"I see."

"…it was also supersymmetry, that lead me to my conclusions. Completing the paradox."

They stopped suddenly and looked at the others. After a long pause, Leonard asked, "Is that the new Mystic Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack?"

"Yes, Space Mutants and Superheroes," said Raj.

"Did you get me one?" he asked.

"Of course! We picked them up today," said Howard, with a wide grin.

Leonard looked down at the cards, on the table. "Okay, I'm in," he said, grabbing a chair.

* * *

Later that evening, Penny was in her apartment preparing. She took out all the presents she had received over the course of their courtship. She lit the incense, made jasmine tea in the Japanese tea set and placed the globe on her coffee table. Next to the globe, in pride of place, was a gold frame containing her poem.

After lighting candles and arranging them around the room, she turned off the lights. It was ready.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

"Come in," she called out, "It's open."

The door swung ajar and there he stood. There was a fiery warmth in his eyes and he was looking very triumphant. "Hello Penny," he said, boldly.

"Hello Sheldon."

"It's a little dark in here," he said.

"Yes, it's romantic," she said.

"Oh, I see," he said, still standing in the doorway.

"How did you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?"

"Convince Leonard to stay friends with us?"

"He could not argue with the science."

"Sheldon, I think you are amazing," she said gently, her green eyes sparkling in the candlelight.

He strode over towards her. "Come with me," he said softly, extending out his hand. She reached up and their hands entwined. The very fact he was allowing this touch, made her heart jump. She didn't protest that she had just spent the last hour, preparing her apartment, so they had a romantic space to sign the relationship agreement. Instead, she let herself be led over to his apartment. When they got there, he motioned for her to sit.

There was a whiteboard positioned next to the couch and he picked up a marker and began to draw symbols on the board.

"Am I going to get another physics lesson? because you know how terrible I was the first time," she said.

"No," he said, turning back to look at her, "…but we have know each other a long time, Penny. And as you know, I have always held a very specific set of beliefs, in regards to human relations. I thought you might want to know, why I altered them. So you can appreciate that my commitment to you is eternal."

"Oh definitely, but… what is it?"

"Supersymmetry," he said, letting out a sigh, "This is the theory most particle physicists base their work on. This is the theory, I base _my whole world on_."

"It looks complicated."

"Oh, it's not," he said, smiling, "We call it SUZY. We call it the Elegant Theory because of its perfect symmetry." His voice was soft, as if he were talking about a previous lover.

"So elegant symmetry …is that us?" she said, a little confused.

"No."

She frowned.

"Supersymmetry tells us of a perfect balance of supercharges, relating fermions and bosons to one other."

"Oh!" she said excitedly, bouncing up and down in her seat, "…and they cancel each other out."

"You remembered," he said smiling.

"I'm never going to ever forget that _one_."

"Well, _I_ might have too! Because this theory is currently being challenged. Results from the Large Hadron Collider show no sign of our beloved SUZY…what if?... it's wrong?" he said, tapping his marker on the whiteboard.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I," he said, looking at her with an all-consuming glare, "This beautiful symmetric unity, brings together what we physicists like to call 'The Theory of Everything'. Quantum field theory, Einstein, dark matter, String theory, the hierarchy problem within the Standard Model. Disproving Supersymmetry would wipe out everything we thought we knew about physics this later century. Everything, I thought I knew…. My entire understanding of the universe," he said, picking up a cloth and wiping the board clean.

"Wow, that's big."

"The biggest!"

She smiled, "And that is happening now?"

"Right now," he said, "The theory may survive, it may still be proven in the coming years but whatever the outcome, this speculation has expanded my mind. Literally altered my ideology," he said, turning to face her, "Leading me to consider alternative possibilities," he said, his eyes warm with desire, "…like yourself."

"Thank you, large hadron thingy!" she said, playfully.

"I love you, Penny," he said.

"I love you too," she said, "now let's sign that darn agreement!"

Sheldon approached her and lowered himself down on to his knees. He took her hands in his, "We don't need it," he said, tenderly.

"Are you sure?"

"No, but then, I'm not sure of _anything_ anymore." She looked into his eyes, they were wild and uncertain.

Bringing her hand up, she stroked his cheek. "Sheldon, I really don't mind. I know you need order in your life and I'm willing to be a part of that," she said, "…within reason, of course," she added, with a little smile.

"Thank you, but as you told the others you were going to become a teacher, I naturally assumed you would do me the honor, of becoming my wife."

Her eyes widened and she threw her arms around his neck. Pressing her lips to his ear and whispering softly, "Yes, yes, a million times, yes." His arms enveloped her and pulled her into a firm embrace.

"Oh Penny…" he said, his hands traveling over her back, her arms, her hips, "You are mine."

"Yes, I am."

"You are not a theory."

"Not as far as I know," she said.

His lips found hers, in a lovingly eager kiss. As their tongues came together, a fervent heat began to rise between them. His unexplored passion burst from every pore as he lowered her on to the couch. She felt his fingers wandering across her clothing, in search of bare skin. Finding a gap under her shirt, his hand ran up her abdomen to her breast. She drew in a breath, "Oh Sheldon, I can't believe we are here again, like this… I can't believe you worked it all out."

"I told you my angel," he said, breathlessly, "I just needed to do the calculations."

* * *

**This is my first long FF, and it was great fun to write. I've tried to keep them IC and made the science as accurate as I could. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**


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